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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24154345">Cause You Don't Really Want to Go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/polandspringz/pseuds/polandspringz'>polandspringz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hot and Cold [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shall We Date?: Obey Me!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Brotherhood, Brotherly Bonding, Family Feels, Gen, Gender-Neutral Main Character, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Breakdown, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:54:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24154345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/polandspringz/pseuds/polandspringz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mammon had been dealing with his brothers’ insults for millennia, long before the human exchange student had shown up in their world. Since their fall from heaven, he had been the one tossed into the most fires, had the most bones broken, and been locked outside at least twice a week in the absolute zero temperatures that Hell’s nights reached. Any small mistake was met with a new demeaning jab, anything larger was met with a new string of bruises and cuts along his flesh.</p><p>It was fine. He had always been fine.</p><p>So why was this time so different?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lucifer &amp; Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer &amp; Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character &amp; Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hot and Cold [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897852</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1292</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was inspired by Whooshwinks' post, which you can see <a href="https://whooshwinks.tumblr.com/post/617678952317812736/can-someone-just-like-make-a-fanfic-where-mammon"> here!</a> The moment I saw it I knew I wanted to take up the challenge and write something for it, although I didn't expect it to be my longest fic yet. ;-; I stayed up until 4 AM for three nights writing each chapter, so the fic is finished, the other two chapters will be posted soon. I refer to the protagonist as MC throughout this. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the most plain terms, Mammon had been having a <em>shitty week.</em></p><p> </p><p>He had been dealing with his brothers’ insults for millennia, their shoves and stabbing words for long before the human exchange student had shown up in their world. Since their fall from heaven, he had been the one tossed into the most fires, had the most bones broken, and been locked outside at least twice a week in the absolute zero temperatures that Hell’s nights reached. Any small mistake was met with a new demeaning jab, anything larger (or just done when any of the brothers’ were particularly stressed) was met with a new string of bruises and cuts along his flesh.</p><p> </p><p>It was fine. He had always been <em>fine.</em></p><p> </p><p>But then the human had come along.</p><p> </p><p>Mammon had been able to survive through such pain for so long because it was all he had ever known. After they were thrown out of their Father’s domain, they all were angry. Lucifer’s wrath was so grand that it bore Satan- and perhaps that was a blessing in disguise, as their time spent raising the young demon kept them from using Mammon as their scapegoat. At least, not as much- for as Satan grew he learned to take after his brothers’ and began to add to the number of wounds and names that clawed into Mammon’s skin and took root in his chest where his heart would have beaten if he was a human.</p><p> </p><p>And it was the human’s fault that he was having a shitty week.</p><p> </p><p>Before they had arrived, he had forgotten what it felt like to be held by someone, what it was like to cherish something besides money. Although he would never admit it, since their pact had been established, Mammon had felt his greed pulling him towards <em>them </em>more than gold. When he saw his brothers’ arms wrapped around them, Asmodeus’s hand skirting around their waist or Belphegor resting his head against their shoulder, he felt his desire flare up like molten lava stirring in his body. That was <em>his </em>human, he was their <em>first </em>pact, he was the one assigned to take care of them. It was <em>his </em>job, no one else’s, and he wasn’t going to screw it up. His selfish want when he saw them indulging his brothers’ attention had begun to rival Levi’s dominion over envy. Plain and simple, he was <em>jealous.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>And jealousy was what led him to this situation. He had gotten too close to the human, too wrapped up in their warmth that came when they fell asleep together, cuddled up in the blankets of the human’s bed. He had gotten too accustomed to the feeling of not being alone, of not being left out in the cold, of being wanted. Much to Lucifer’s annoyance, the two of them had become partners in crime, and even when the human wasn’t aware of whatever scheme Mammon had carried out or whatever lie he had told, they would always come to his defense. Sometimes, in private, they did call him out for his bad behavior, but whenever his brothers’ came to bring down punishment, he had grown used to seeing their arms spread in front of him, ready to take the blow instead.</p><p> </p><p>The human had a mysterious pull on all the brothers, and although it bothered him to no end that his brothers’ were being ensnared by the special force that he had come to treasure, he was secretly thankful for it. It was because of the human that he was able to feel the welcoming comfort of Beelzebub again. Within a month of their time in Devildom together, Beel had joined their midnight movie sessions, and Mammon could always remember the feeling of that big hand pushing him down, the soft rumble of the word <em>“rest” </em>erupting from Beel’s chest as Mammon’s head was laid against it, the human already asleep between them. He had nodded off shortly after, waking up in the artificial dawn still swaddled by both of their warmth.</p><p> </p><p>In short, the human had made him soft.</p><p> </p><p>So, when that had all been ripped away from him early this week, he should have expected shit to hit the fan rather quickly. He was just expecting it all to come crumbling down much faster, and the fallout to be much <em>less </em>than he predicted.</p><p> </p><p>He had not been able to get the human’s attention all week. They had been occupied with some new difficult task Lucifer had thrown at them, and because of another rampaging incident in the kitchens, their room had been damaged again, forcing them to sleep in the upstairs attic. That was Belphegor’s favorite napping spot since getting freed (which seemed like bullshit to Mammon. <em>If you were imprisoned somewhere for so long, shouldn’t you want to be as far away from it as you could get?</em>) so there was hardly a moment where Mammon could be alone with his human because it was always met by Belphegor shoving him away. He also was forbidden from sneaking up there at night, as he had thrown a fit about why they weren’t allowed to share <em>his </em>room for the time being, and Lucifer thought it fit to deprive him of his human during the nighttime because he was the one who ate Beel’s very clearly labeled <em>do not touch </em>food. Walking to and from school, the human was always entangled in Satan or Asmodeus’s arms, being dragged to the library to work on their new assignment, or off to Majolish for shopping. Mammon had spotted them a few times when he was being photographed in front of one of the stores.</p><p> </p><p>All of this added up to mean that Mammon was experiencing a severe <em>subtraction </em>in terms of his daily comfort. His human was failing to recharge him, and yet they were the one who had gotten him hooked on their warmth and companionship, so it was their fault. On Thursday, he managed to corner them during lunch hour, trying to drag them off towards the stairwell to the roof where he knew they would have privacy and he could maybe sneak in a quick hug to help him get back on his feet.</p><p> </p><p>He was already feeling strained. If he just had a second alone, without the noise of the classrooms, the school, his brothers’ mockery, to just hold them close again and press his face into their hair, he thought he could make it through the rest of the week.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, it ended with an explosive argument.</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon, what is your problem? Let <em>go </em>of me!”</p><p> </p><p>The pact activated and Mammon felt hot iron burn under his fingers the longer he clutched their wrist. He pulled back, but in his desperation and confusion, he reached towards them again, both hands clutching their shoulders as he tried to reason with them.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, MC! Please, just-”</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon, stop! Get away from me!”</p><p> </p><p>-And suddenly his skin was <em>burning. </em>His hands flew off of them and instantly they were running away from him, backing up into the semicircle his brothers’ had formed when they followed after the commotion.</p><p> </p><p>He had tried to get their attention, but they were so wrapped up in a conversation with Solomon, while Asmodeus played with their hair. He tried to wait his turn and for them to stop talking, waited for them to spin around, but they spun right past him and started talking to Simeon and then <em>Luke. </em>The annoying yapping sound of the chihuahua was getting to him, amplified by the screeching headache he had since yesterday when some <em>creep </em>who he had been forced to model with tried to <em>touch</em> him and then the creep’s bodyguard has slammed his face into a brick wall in the middle of the photoshoot. While Mammon had fought back with his demonic powers, quickly terrifying and incinerating most of the lower-leveled demons’ flesh, the photographer and his manager had been outraged at <em>him, </em>and forced him off the set. He hadn’t gotten a text about a follow-up for the shoot, and something in Mammon’s brain was telling him that he had probably blown his only real source of income.</p><p> </p><p>Which is why, when the human breezed past him <em>again </em>to talk to Levi, he had just had enough and reached forward and started to drag them off. He had almost gotten to the stairwell with them, ignoring their shouts of protest until they activated their pact and he was stumbling away, now faced with this <em>situation, </em>and he could see by the glares in his brothers’ eyes that they were ready to rain a string of insults down upon him.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you being such a freak? Were you trying to drag them off somewhere so you could have your way with them? Mammon, I pegged you for a brute, but never someone so depraved,” Asmodeus scoffed, gently rubbing his fingers across the human’s wrist where he had been grabbing before.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t listen to them when they told you to stop. What the heck was your intention?” Satan strode in front of MC, blocking them with his body. They were quickly absorbed into the comforting touches of Belphegor and Asmo, the angels and Solomon looking on in the background from outside their classroom’s door.</p><p> </p><p>“They just kept talking to you! I just wanted them to pay attention to me for a second-!”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re always giving <em>you </em>attention, Mammon. Don’t you know how to share?” Levi spat.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, they’ve been more than generous with your behavior since they got here. Are you that insecure that you can’t be away from them for more than one day?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s been <em>more </em>than one day! You guys have had them since Sunday! I just wanted to spend lunch with them!”</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon,” the human whispered, “I’m sorry but I have to go see Diavolo and Lucifer now. They have a new task for me and-”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to explain it to <em>him,” </em>Belphegor hissed, “He’s so stupid that he wouldn’t get it either way.”</p><p> </p><p>“-<em>and,” </em>they spoke over his brother with an annoyed tone. It gave Mammon something, a bit of warmth, to know that they were still on <em>his </em>side, “they want me to get this one done as quickly as possible. After school I will be going to Purgatory Hall to convene with Simeon and Luke. I won’t be home until dinner. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon felt his body freeze up as that fleeting burst of comfort from hearing them <em>talk </em>to him turned to cold at their flickering gaze. Their eyes looked at him for only a moment before back to the floor, occasionally lingering on Asmodeus who was still rubbing their wrist and staring <em>lovingly </em>into their face. It made him sick.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on…” Mammon felt his voice shaking, and whatever confusion and shock he felt he forced himself to crush it down until he had regained his usual flippant, sarcastic tone, “Is another task really that important? You’ve been working hard all week for those jerks! Why don’t you have some fun with the <em>Great Mammon </em>already! It’s been too long since we hung out! Let’s just go have lunch!”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s only been a few days, are you really that needy?” Satan crossed his arms. Mammon seethed, surging forward.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s been a few days and you’ve been hogging them the whole time! Come on, MC! I’ll help you blaze through those tasks in no time afterschool, I just thought we could-”</p><p> </p><p>“I already told you,” they said, frustration evident in their tone, “I’m going to be at Purgatory Hall afterschool. I’m sorry Mammon, but I really have to go. I need to speak to Diavolo.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, they turned on their heel and began to walk in the other direction. The others followed. Mammon started to move after them, but Beelzebub stepped forward, his large frame immediately walling off Mammon.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Mammon felt his arms tremble at his sides. They started to raise up, his body acting on instinct as he wondered if maybe Beel was going to hug him, give him the reassurance he so desperately needed. He was so tired and confused after everything that had happened, he felt like if he could just get someone to touch him, the ringing in his head would stop, and he would be whole again, instead of constantly teetering on the edge of some cliff.</p><p> </p><p>“MC said they’re busy. Leave them alone.”</p><p> </p><p>Beel’s words were curt and after he said them, he too turned and walked away from him. Mammon was left alone in the hallway, at the base of the stairs. At last, it was quiet, but it only made the ringing worse. His legs moving on autopilot, he ascended the stairs to the rooftop.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>He got home late, missing dinner and missing yet another chance to talk to MC. After holing up in the dark stairwell for the rest of the school day, mind reeling but also scarily empty, Mammon decided that the only way to clear his head and get it full of more wild distracting thoughts would be to go drinking. He wasn’t Asmo who dressed up and danced to grind up on people in a drunken state, and he wasn’t Beel who could down hundreds of beers but feel nothing from it with his bottomless stomach. Gambling was more his speed, but Mammon knew with pockets empty and his mind not right, there was no way he could properly fix up a cunning scheme to get him to win big. He had tried resting in the quiet all day, and that had done nothing. His only other option was the complete opposite of that- loud noise, flashing lights, and besides, if he wanted to be touched so badly, he would come in contact with plenty of bodies just brushing by people at the club.</p><p> </p><p>Four hours into drinking, and throwing up outside the bar, Mammon knew that despite what his brothers’ may have claimed he had done before, he had made the <em>worst </em>decision possible.</p><p>He no longer felt cold, but instead burning hot. The touches from the club had overstimulated him, especially that one group of girls who he was pretty sure slipped something into his drink when one of them forced his head to turn so they could kiss him. He had ripped himself away from them violently once he felt them dragging him back to one of the booths, hands running over his legs, his chest, and his back with wicked claws and perfume that was <em>way too strong. </em></p><p> </p><p>His lips tasted sour and his teeth felt rotted as he wiped his face clean before another wave of vomit could come pouring out of it. He was no stranger to aphrodisiacs, for demons stuck in sin for longer than the human race’s existence tended to find immoral ways to pass their time, but in Mammon’s experience it had been done when he <em>wanted </em>to try it out, and hundreds of years ago when he had last tried it, he had ended up with a particularly nasty feeling after it, and had sworn off trying such things. He wasn’t the Avatar of Lust, it just wasn’t his style.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So why couldn’t he get the feeling of those hands off of him?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He pushed himself off the wall slightly, drunken fingers scraping against the brick as he dizzyingly tried to right himself, and when he felt the weight against his back and around his torso, it clicked in the one rational cell of his brain that remained.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ah, because they were still touching him.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Get the hell off of me!” He slurred, kicking and clawing at the arms around his waist. One of the girls had snuck up on him when he was puking. It had to be when he was puking, because he had puked down the front of his shirt and he could see it on her arms, not under it, like if she had grabbed after the fact. There was a distinctive yellow-brown sheen decorating her skin that rolled up over them and then back on the hem of his shirt. <em>Great, now Lucifer would lecture him about the laundry too. </em></p><p> </p><p>It took a few more rounds of shouting before he managed to free himself, knocking the demon aside and against the other wall, where she sobered up enough to cry out. <em>Loudly.</em> Mammon took not even two steps towards the front of the alley when he was swarmed by several bouncers that could give Beel and his muscles a run for his money. Too disorientated by the drugs swirling through his system, his demon form transformation flickered for a moment before fizzling out the moment the first punch was thrown.</p><p> </p><p>Briefly, Mammon wondered if he got bashed into another brick wall, if it would correct the ringing in his ear.</p><p> </p><p>It did not.</p><p> </p><p>He made his way back home an hour later with a limp and cradling his right arm. It was 1 AM, and Lucifer had already locked the front doors, something he had started doing more often and punctually with their human guest, to prevent any wandering demons from breaking in and preying on them. Mammon banged on the door a few times before his fist began to hurt and then he slumped down on the stoop beside one of the bushes. It would be difficult to get back up with his leg in the shape it was, but once he sobered up, he would be able to use his demonic magic to miracle it away, and if that didn’t work, there were always classic potions and medicine. Or maybe he could further in debt himself to the witches and ask them to fix him up if he really needed it.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever, he had endured Devildom’s cold nights with worse injuries. He would survive this one no problem. Besides, he had the flame of the drugs and alcohol in his body to thank for the heat he continued to feel. It would keep him alive enough until morning.</p><p> </p><p>He had just begun to nuzzle into the thorns of the bush when he was nudged by something stiff.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It was the door. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Fingers brushed his arms, and instantly Mammon snapped awake.</p><p> </p><p>It was just the human. They were looking at him with concern, shivering slightly in their thin pajamas as a gust of wind blew by.</p><p> </p><p>Instantly, Mammon was fussing.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah shit, what are you doing? Get back inside. It’s gonna drop real cold soon… the temperature… You’ll die, and then Lucif..er’s gonna kill me…” He slurred.</p><p>
  
</p><p>They were tugging at his shirt. His vomit stained shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to get you inside. Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>They managed to drag him into the house by hooking him underneath his arms and pulling him through the door. The concrete of the stoop scratched against his twisted leg, but Mammon barely felt it. He did feel the sudden drop that made his stomach lurch when MC released him against the wall beside the coat closet. They shut and locked the door tight before they padded back over to him, their fingers brushing along his jaw as they pushed his bangs out of his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“I heard you banging on the door from all the way upstairs. I was waiting up for you… Where were you? You’re burning up… Are you sick?”</p><p> </p><p>All their questions came through at once to Mammon, their body tracked by his eyes in slow motion before it would suddenly speed up. Their lips did not match the sound, their gentle touches that Mammon would have so gladly soaked up instead were muffled by the memory of other hands running over him, the drug in his system sucking the warmth out of their touch and instead replacing it with a fire that choked him from the inside. It was rising in his throat, building higher and higher with every inhale until it was coming out his mouth, burning his insides and his lap as he vomited all over himself again.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, I’m getting Beelzebub-” they started to say, but Mammon slapped their hand away. It was more like a series of languid, open palmed hits, his hand never quite landing where it wanted, instead missing their hand and climbing up their arm until he was palming at their face, his hands smearing something across their skin as they grimaced and tried to pull away-</p><p> </p><p>Oh, it was more vomit.</p><p> </p><p>His hands were soaked in bile too. He was staining their pajamas too. He had gotten it in their hair. He should apologize for that.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t get… don’t get Beel-” he retched again, but this time nothing came out. <em>Thankfully, </em>“He’ll just make fun of me…”</p><p> </p><p>“He won’t. He cares about you. When he sees you like this, he’ll help me carry you to bed.”</p><p> </p><p>“No he doesn’t. He’ll just… he’ll just make fun of me. He won’t want to touch me when I’m like this…”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, no one wants to touch you when you’re covered in puke, but if I use the pact he’ll have to-”</p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t want to touch me earlier today… He… he…”</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon,” their eyes were wide, and suddenly very close to his. Their eyes were almost as big as the Devildom moon. It made Mammon laugh, which made him retch again. He spat out something when he laughed. It landed under their eye. He felt bad, but he couldn’t help himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon, what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, they were <em>too </em>close. It was like when he came to outside the bar. He was suddenly too aware of the hands on his wrists, the presence in front of him. This was his human though, what should have been a comforting presence. But now that his stomach was empty, all Mammon could feel was frustration ebbing away inside him, the fire in him going to his head as he suddenly fought against them, beginning to kick wildly.</p><p> </p><p>“Let go of me! Leggo… Leave me alone! Get off of me!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“What’s going on?” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>There was a deep voice and a shadow over him now. He thought he recognized it, but his brain was too busy flaring up his fight response to comprehend this new figure. Maybe he was still  back at the bar. Maybe they were one of the bouncers. They certainly looked like a bouncer.</p><p> </p><p>“I found him drunk on the doorstep. I brought him inside but it looks like he’s hurt and-”</p><p> </p><p>“Let me go! Get your hands off of me!”</p><p> </p><p>He managed to wrestle his good leg out from underneath them and bend it back to his chest, delivering a swift kick to their shoulder and sending them flying back towards one of the statues that lined the hallway towards the kitchen. At least, they would have collided with it, had the hands of the mysterious figure not have caught them before their head slammed back into it.</p><p> </p><p><em>Black hair, red eyes. </em>Even in his drunken stupor, that should have been enough to trigger him to stop, but it didn’t. He continued babbling and struggling, shouting as he heard vibrations from the floors above. It sounded like doors opening, and feet running across the steps.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes… Thank you. Like I was saying though, I helped him inside because his leg and arm were hurt. I think he’s bleeding under his shirt. I couldn’t tell though because of the vomit but-”</p><p> </p><p>“You unlocked the door?” The other voice got impossibly lower somehow. It was like an echo bouncing around in Mammon’s mind at this point.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes… because he knocked…”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you a fool? Don’t you know why I lock the door at night? Do you want to die?”</p><p> </p><p>“No one was answering it! And he was hurt so-!”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>He </em>can handle himself! The temperatures at this time of night get impossibly cold for your human body to handle! There are demons lurking about that would gladly eat up your soul! This has been reiterated to you time and time again before, so why do you continue to be a fool and ignore this?”</p><p> </p><p>“Lucifer…” Another voice, this one from higher up whispered, “What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“Go easy on them. They were just being nice…”</p><p> </p><p>“Get back to your rooms, now. MC, go get yourself cleaned up, and go back to the attic.”</p><p> </p><p>“But, Mammon-”</p><p> </p><p>“I lock this door for a reason, and that is to keep you safe. Since you decided to unlock it, you still have yet to understand that. I will have to double check the locks again all over the house in case this idiot-” he gestured to Mammon, “tried any of the other doors and knocked anything loose.”</p><p> </p><p>“But, Lucifer-”</p><p> </p><p>“Upstairs. Now.”</p><p> </p><p>His tone was biting and obvious of his trying patience. Still, after a brief pause, the human tried again.</p><p><br/>“Are you going to help him to bed?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll go upstairs, only if you promise me that you will help him get to bed. I don’t want him sleeping down here all night. He’s injured.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ordering me around?” There was a flash and a black feather fell at Mammon’s feet.</p><p> </p><p>“No. I’m <em>asking </em>you to promise me, and not to destroy the trust we have between us. Will you promise me that you will take care of him once I go upstairs?”</p><p> </p><p>Another pause. Mammon’s vision was getting spotty, but he was pretty sure the human was standing on their toes to glare up at Lucifer, who was in his full demonic form. Pretty badass for his human, he mused. He let out a dry laugh, unknowingly breaking the silence between them. Lucifer sighed, and relented, his wings and cape rescinding as he returned to his normal appearance.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine. I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good night then.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon heard their feet pad away across the floor before they bounded up the staircase, eventually fading away as they crossed one of the halls and vanished towards the attic.</p><p> </p><p>He had just shut his eyes when he felt the presence of his brother over him. He tilted his head back, banging it against the wall as he locked eyes with the angered gaze of Lucifer. Thanks to the alcohol, he wasn’t as scared as he ought to have been.</p><p> </p><p>“Haha, gonna tuck me in?” He joked, reaching his good arm up towards Lucifer. For a moment, in the moonlight coming through the windows and the skylight, Mammon’s mind flashed with his brother in his old celestial armor, from the days before they all fell.</p><p> </p><p>They all looked beautiful then.</p><p> </p><p>Mammon felt himself gasping as he reeled from the kick to stomach, now toppled over on the floor as he was forced to come face to face with the cold tiles. It was suddenly morning. He was still in the entranceway, on the floor where MC had left him. Lucifer was standing over him still, but noticeably dressed in his uniform. He tapped his foot impatiently as he looked down on him.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you to get up already. MC wanted you in bed last night. You need to get out of their sight before they find you down here and lecture me. It was because of you last night that I’m behind on my work for Lord Diavolo.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon coughed and froze when he saw a spot of red on the floor next to his mouth. He brought a hand up shakely to his lip, feeling along where it had been split. Lucifer must have done more than kick, then, not that he remembered. He reached just inside his mouth and sagged with relief. No teeth were knocked loose, <em>this time.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Sorry, sorry… I’ll get up now…” Mammon, pointedly more sober than he had been in the past few hours, scrambled to his feet to free himself of any more pain to his body.</p><p> </p><p>He had barely taken one step when he felt a searing sensation rip itself through his foot and up his leg, like he had been pierced with a metal bar that was cutting through his body diagonally. His knee buckled and he went flying sideways into one of the pedestals beside the door, his head clipping the corner of it and sending a large, expensive vase off and shattering to the floor. The ceramic, jagged pieces jumped off the floor and cut across Mammon’s arm before they fell around him, and his body finally collapsed on the bed of nails he had created.</p><p> </p><p>He yelped as another piece sliced into his skin, and shivered as he felt blood drip down the back of his neck. Briefly, he wondered if this was some sort of karma, <em>because it sure as hell was becoming a fucking pattern. </em>How many times was he going to hit his head on something this week? Because he kept getting close to a coma and yet hadn’t succumbed to one yet, and it probably would have been a hell of a lot easier than putting up with anymore of these hot and cold sensations and the ringing that had now dialed itself up to a shrieking noise as soon as his leg decided to stop being a leg and instead be a mangled mess on the floor for him to get tangled up in.</p><p> </p><p>There was movement from the floors above, yelling. The noise of the vase breaking must have alerted his brothers, waking them from their slumber. Lucifer seemed to have gotten up early this morning, early enough that he would be able to deceive MC into thinking that he didn’t make Mammon walk himself to his room and then threaten him to lie and say Lucifer had assisted him. He knew his brother, and he wouldn’t touch him even if Lord Diavolo commanded him to. He hadn’t felt Lucifer’s touch since-</p><p> </p><p>“How are you this much of a screw-up.”</p><p> </p><p>It was a statement, not a question. Tone flat and yet boiling. Mammon paused in his squirming against the broken pottery to stare at his brother. His hand was over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose as his expression continued to warp with anger.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve tried <em>everything </em>to keep you in line. I’ve taken away your credit card, showed you my power, disciplined you when you misbehave, and yet every time, you ignore me. You ignore me at every stage. It’s almost as if you <em>want </em>this torture to continue.”</p><p> </p><p><em>That’s not it, </em>Mammon thought, staring up at Lucifer. But his mouth was dry and his lips hurt to open, so he kept them closed.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think I <em>enjoy </em>having such a <em>fuck up </em>for a brother? Do you think I <em>like </em>being associated with <em>you? </em>Every time I walk alongside Lord Diavolo, his reputation is tarnished, not by my own action, but by the fact that all of Devildom knows of your latest <em>mistake. </em>Of gossip about how Lucifer’s <em>brother </em>is being an absolute <em>idiot </em>three feet away.”</p><p> </p><p>His voice remained flat the entire time.</p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes I wonder why Father ever made you.”</p><p> </p><p>It was suddenly very cold.</p><p> </p><p>“You were even like this back in Heaven. Never listening, always getting into trouble. I had to busy myself with you instead of focusing on more important things, instead of-”</p><p> </p><p>He paused, and his face changed. Mammon saw it behind his eyelids, his expression dawning with some sort of realization. His hand fell away from his face and limp at his side. He opened his eyes and stared down at Mammon with the most empty, distant gaze imaginable. Mammon felt anxious. His throat was closing up, the cold in his body freezing over his lungs as he sat up and reached out towards his older brother.</p><p> </p><p>“Lucifer-”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“You were the reason we lost the Celestial War.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The ringing had stopped. The screaming had stopped. For the first time since Wednesday, the inside of Mammon’s head was quiet. He felt happy, he should feel happy, shouldn’t he? The pain that had been tormenting him for days was gone. No more was it bouncing around inside his head, no more did he feel like he was going insane from the nails on a chalkboard whispers pounding against his skull. No, it was quiet. Mammon was quiet. Everything was quiet.</p><p> </p><p>Mammon couldn’t hear anything.</p><p> </p><p>Which is why he didn’t hear Lucifer blame him for their sister’s death. Didn’t hear him continuously hurl insults for why they ended up stuck in Devildom, in Hell, instead of ruling over the heavens. He didn’t hear any of it. He stopped hearing after Lucifer stopped looking angry. He stopped hearing after Lucifer said he shouldn’t have been created.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Don’t think, don’t think, don’t thinkdon’tthinkdon’tthinkdontthink-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Instead, Mammon was seated on the floor, his back against the pedestal where he had knocked the vase over when he woke up this morning, just holding his head. He had hurt it when he knocked into it, so he was holding it to stop the bleeding. His brothers were around him, their lips were moving, but they weren’t talking. It was strange.</p><p><br/>Except that wasn’t what was happening at all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Hey, what’s happening to Mammon?” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>After Lucifer’s announced his revelation, he delivered two more accusations to their brother.</p><p> </p><p>“If you had been more serious about things in the Celestial Realm, we would have been stronger. We would have won. Lilith wouldn’t have died.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“It’s all your fault.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Lucifer… That’s going too far…” Leviathan said from the stairs, cautiously taking another step down it before he froze when Lucifer shot him a frightening glare. All of the brothers had run to the entranceway upon hearing a commotion, transformed in case of an intruder to protect MC. Now, they were gathered on either sides of the twin staircases, watching as Lucifer delivered judgement on their brother who was curled up on the floor, still covered in vomit from the night before, when they had been woken up too and saw him in another pathetic state.</p><p> </p><p>“Lucifer, it wasn’t any of our faults alone… We were naive and-” Asmodeus tried and got three steps further on the other side with a more determined stride, but when Lucifer turned his head to him, he too stopped.</p><p> </p><p>It was Belphegor who spoke up from the railing of the balcony, clutching his pillow as his eyes widened with uncharacteristic concern on his apathetic face.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, what’s happening to Mammon?”</p><p> </p><p>The brothers’ all looked past Lucifer, suddenly seeing the second oldest moving slowly. His body was shaking. His leg was still messed up as it had been last night, but even though it shouldn’t have been able to move in that condition, Mammon was moving it. He slinked his body up to rest against the back of the pedestal, turning his bad leg in so he could bring his knees up, but his whole body jolted when the pain shot through him. He stilled, and then his hands robotically reached out, cradling his leg as he coaxed it to lean somewhat in the same position as the other one, drawn close to his chest. After that, he brought his hands up to his ears, and began to shudder again, this time violently.</p><p> </p><p>Two seconds passed, and then they all heard it.</p><p> </p><p>His breaths became deep and loud. Rapidly, they started to increase, his eyes, bloodshot and rimmed by dark shadows were unblinking as he started to rock back and forth, tears streaming down his face when his breathing turned to full on hyperventilating. Even Lucifer seemed startled, as his hand twitched at his side. He tried to crush it down though, donning his serious, still aggravated facade as he approached his brother, reaching out to rest his hand on his shoulder-</p><p> </p><p>“Now, Mammon, stop this act-”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon screamed as if he had been branded. Lucifer jumped back as the volume of Mammon’s voice ricocheted against the walls even after he had closed his mouth to take a breath. When it opened again, he was wailing, more long screams coming from his mouth before it devolved into shakey, softer, more broken sobs and then he was sucking in air and screaming again. Satan was the first one to shove past him and put his hand around Mammon, although that only seemed to make things worse. Any touch had him pushing further back against the pedestal, trying to crawl away from it and his feet pushed against the floor in an effort to escape, but putting weight on his bad leg sent more pain through it and caused his voice to erupt in that weeping, broken whimper again before he was crying again.</p><p> </p><p>Lucifer was forced back by the other brothers who came rushing down the steps, swarming Mammon unsure of what to do. Asmodeus tried talking to him in whispers, Belphegor tried brushing against his hand, Beel tried to scoop him up and take him away from everything, but that only had Mammon kicking to get away and yelling somehow even <em>louder, </em>and then he was falling on the floor and hurting his leg again and he was curling himself up again and just screaming as his eyes stared at nothing and yet continued to cry.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?!” Lucifer looked towards the top balcony, the third floor, where MC was standing, having just come running out of the attic. They were still in their nightclothes, their hair a mess, and they took one look at the scene before their expression soured and Lucifer knew he was <em>fucked. </em>They backed up, disappearing behind the railing before they took a running start and were leaping from the third floor, shouting out-</p><p> </p><p>“What the hell did you do, Lucifer?!”</p><p> </p><p>Swiftly, Lucifer transformed and rushed forward, flying into the air to catch the human before they fell to their demise. He had them in his arms for less than a second before they were shoving at his face and jumping out of it, landing on the floor with a grunt before they were off sprinting towards Mammon. Lucifer slowly lowered himself back down to the ground just as MC yelled at everyone to clear the way and moved towards Mammon.</p><p> </p><p>“Give him space, give him space… Mammon, Mammon… It’s me, okay? It’s me… Look at me...  Can you look at me?”</p><p> </p><p>Although he had reacted violently to their touch, MC waved their hands in front of his eyes for a few seconds to try and get his attention, and when that didn’t happen, they roughly grabbed his chin and forced him to look straight up at them. He jerked at the contact for a brief moment, but they doubled down and grabbed ahold of the sides of his face, walling in his gaze as they leaned in so he could look nowhere else but at them.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s me, Mammon, it’s MC… Your human, right? Can you breathe with me? I need you to breathe. Alright?”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon’s chest was still shuddering with his wild sobs. MC tried to speak calmly to him and get him to listen, but it wasn’t working. With a sigh, they resigned themselves to using the thing they hated most.</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon, <em>you will watch me and follow my breathing. </em>Got it?”</p><p> </p><p>Instantly, Mammon stopped. The spell of the pact had overtaken him, and he was charmed into following along with MC as they slowly breathed in and out, counting softly as they continued to hold his face close and cover his eyes. After a few minutes, once Mammon had calmed down enough, they moved closer, resting their forehead against his, and slowly lowered their hands from his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Keep looking at me. You can close your eyes, but don’t look at the others if it’s going to stress you out. Only look at me,” they said, when they saw his eyes wandering towards where Lucifer was standing, a brief sob starting up, but died out quickly when their voice reached him again. Their tone and wording wasn’t enough to make it an order, but there must have been some pull from the pact between them, as Mammon continued to melt into the spell of calmness MC was bathing him in, “I want you to take a few minutes, when you’re ready, you can tell me what happened, We don’t have to do it here. If you want to go somewhere else, we can.”</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the brothers were sprawled out around the two, Beel and Levi standing awkwardly on either side while Satan, Belphegor, and Asmo had been knocked back on their hands by MC rampaging through to get to Mammon. Only Asmo spared a glance to look back at Lucifer, who was still standing mesmerized by what was going on.</p><p> </p><p>He started to take a step back, but at the sound of his heel clicking, MC’s hand shot out behind them with their finger up, a silent <em>wait </em>command. Since it was nonverbal, it did not trigger their pact, but it was stern enough that he was forced to stand still, enthralled in their power.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, Mammon spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I want to go upstairs.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, we can do that. Do you want me to come with you?”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded, eyes staring at their lips, before he closed them, a pained shudder taking over his body with a leftover sob. His hands twitched at his sides, and they noticed this and picked them up with their own. They glanced at his leg with a click of their tongue, eyes quickly glancing towards Lucifer before they softened the noise and began to touch it gently, smoothing over the stained denim with a cooing noise while they held Mammon’s hands against his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, but I’ll need some help getting you upstairs. Is that okay?”</p><p> </p><p>He flinched, but after MC continued to rub their thumb over his knuckles, he conceded.</p><p> </p><p>“Who do you want to help you?”</p><p> </p><p>“...Beel… Can we… go in your room, please? Not the attic… your room?”</p><p> </p><p>“My room is still being repaired… If we go to the attic, you can have more privacy, are you sure you don’t want that?”</p><p> </p><p>He swallowed, “...The attic is… fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, Beel?” They looked up to the orange haired brother, who stepped in swiftly to pick up Mammon in his arms, “Be careful of his leg… We’ll have to get something for that later.”</p><p> </p><p>Beel began to walk towards the stairs, but MC lagged behind. Noticing this, Mammon began to panic, twisting in Beel’s arms, reaching out towards them.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m coming, I promise. I’ll be right behind you.”</p><p> </p><p>They brushed themselves off and ran towards the stairs, resting a hand against Beel’s arm as he wordlessly turned his body away from Lucifer so Mammon would not have to see him. MC waited until Beel turned the corner to the hallway at the top of the stairs before they slowed, turning with rage to face the rest of the demons who still were dumbfounded below.</p><p> </p><p>“None of you are going to RAD today. This is an <em>order,” </em>Instantly, all of them felt the sharp sensation of their pacts, clearing any thought of stepping outside the house from their minds. In Lucifer’s, he struggled against it for a moment, but then the human’s eyes scanned over him and he surrendered to it, “I will need supplies brought up to help with Mammon. We need to clean him up and take care of his injuries, like we should’ve done <em>last </em>night. When we’re done with that and he’s asleep, we will all meet in the common room to discuss. Do I make myself clear?”</p><p> </p><p>They all nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Lucifer, you will stay down there. I have a feeling you have something to do with this,” they said, eyes locked on him even as they started to walk away. The gaze never left him as they disappeared down the hall. The brothers got up and began to move about, rushing to gather what was needed. He stayed still throughout it all, glued to his spot.</p><p> </p><p>This was his punishment, he thought, having his pride crushed by an order and forced to endure the mix of pitying and angered looks sent his way as everyone else passed by him.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>MC tries to figure out what happened. Mammon opens up a bit, but his brothers have more to say.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Somehow this chapter got longer as I was proof-reading it? Not by much though, but mind the new tag I added! It may not be as severe as the tag makes it out to be, but just as a precaution I wanted to point it out so people had a warning going into it! Also, I added the relationship tag for Mammon/MC but it still can be read as platonic, it's just my Mammon loving-self really showed when writing this. I really appreciate the response to the first chapter, so thank you! Enjoy chapter 2!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was around mid-morning when they reconvened downstairs. Tending to Mammon had taken hours, as after he had been brought to the attic, the long arduous task of mending the damage had begun. He was still jumpy around being touched, and so MC had to do most of the work while the brothers merely handed them things in the background, keeping their distance as they watched the flighty, nervous mess that had replaced their brother. They managed to use magic to heal the severe injury to his leg, and Satan had let a curse slip out when he was helping MC bandage him because <em>how the hell did he get home like this? </em>Once that was done, they had to go about changing his clothes, and Asmo offered to run a bath so they could get the rest of the grime off of him before letting him rest, but Mammon had shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure?” MC asked, pushing his bangs back and checking his temperature, “You might feel better if you’re clean…”</p><p> </p><p>“Not right now... “ Mammon mumbled, his eyes lowered, but flitting between the brothers standing before him. Enough was said by that alone, but he continued, sinking back into the pillows, “I’m tired.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” MC relented, pulling back their hand, “Later, we can take one together if you want. I have to go downstairs and talk with everyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t you...stay?” He sniffled, and MC moved forward again to cup his cheek and he leaned into the touch so quickly and unabashedly, almost as if he was starved.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise I’ll be back soon. I’ll bring you food when I come back, so why don’t you rest for now?”</p><p> </p><p>They tucked him in once he nodded and shuffled further down the pillow, turning away from everyone. The brothers, sensing their cue to leave began to slip out of the room, although they huddled in the hallway waiting for MC. They lingered for a moment on the bed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead before they got up and quickly made their way to the door, their expression shifting from that tender softness to that quiet rage from before as they closed the door behind them.</p><p> </p><p>And now, they were all in the kitchen. Although MC had originally ordered them to meet in the common room, they had blazed past it to the stove where they began banging pots and pans around, starting up the process of frying scorpions for one of Mammon’s favorite dishes. When it became apparent that they weren’t going to move away from their task, the brothers all gravitated towards the kitchen where they stood awkwardly. Lucifer was in one of the corners of the room, no doubt texting Lord Diavolo about their current situation.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright,” MC finally said, turning around once the scorpions were done and they turned off the stove, “So <em>one </em>of you is going to tell me exactly what I missed this morning, because I didn’t even want to try getting it out of Mammon. So, who’s it gonna be?”</p><p> </p><p>Their glare cut across all the brothers, a knife in their hand following the sweeping motion. When no one spoke, they turned to Lucifer.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t expect you to tell me the truth, seeing as you’re likely the culprit of this mess, but go ahead.”</p><p> </p><p>“MC, this is ridiculous, I need to go to the academy and see to Lord Diavolo, and surely you still have tasks you are behind on. All our time can be spent better than...” and despite his usual air of composure, he floundered for a moment, waving his hand in the air flippantly, “this silly interrogation.”</p><p> </p><p>MC’s quiet rage burned stronger instantly.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Oh? </em>You think this is <em>silly? </em>Well, it’s not silly to me one bit. In fact, if you hadn’t noticed, <em>Lucifer, </em>one of your brothers had a panic attack this morning and refused to let anyone near him, he was still in the same place I left him last night, after I made you <em>promise</em> to take care of him, and from what I saw he was terrified of you, so I don’t know if I would call that <em>silly. </em>In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you are the silly one here, thinking stupid jobs and assignments are more important than your brother. I already spoke to Lord Diavolo and told him what was happening, and if you were texting him just now, then he would tell you the same thing, that he’s <em>fine </em>with you staying home until I figure out this mess.”</p><p> </p><p>Lucifer bristled at their remarks, but before he could get a word in, they set the knife down and faced Satan, “You hate the guy, so why don’t you tell me what he did?” Satan grinded his teeth as he shifted uncomfortably under their gaze, “Or is it something you all did? Did you <em>all </em>hurt Mammon this morning?”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Levi shouted out, but when all eyes turned to him, his voice dropped to a whisper, “We all came downstairs at the same time… when we heard the vase break… Lucifer was arguing with Mammon, which isn’t anything new… but then he said…”</p><p> </p><p>He went silent and began to squirm. MC sighed and turned to the others, “What? What did Lucifer say? Are any of you going to tell me, or am I going to have to do what I hate doing and use our pacts to get it out of you?”</p><p> </p><p>“First he… he said he didn’t know why Mammon was created,” Asmodeus confessed, “But then he said that… Mammon was the reason we… lost.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lost? Lost what?”</p><p> </p><p>“The Celestial War,” Belphegor supplied.</p><p> </p><p>“He said it was Mammon’s fault that Lilith died,” Beelzebub finished.</p><p> </p><p>In that moment, a pin could drop and be heard booming across the entire house. The silence across the room was deafening as the human seemed to process the words. Their eyes widened for a moment, and then their brow furrowed, face scrunching up as they stared into the distance at no one.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this true?”</p><p> </p><p>Lucifer sighed, crossing his arms, “Yes. What about it?”</p><p> </p><p>The next thing he knew he was on the floor, holding his sore cheek as the human stood over him, their fist still poised in the air where it had collided with his face. They slowly lowered it, revealing a seething expression.</p><p> </p><p>“What the hell is wrong with you? ‘<em>Yes, what about it?’ </em>Is that all you have to say?!” They parroted his own voice back at him mockingly, and Lucifer felt his pride explode inside him. He effortlessly got to his feet, practically floating as he transformed and loomed over them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Do you wish to die? I will not have you make fun of me so easily.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“And I won’t stand for you hurting Mammon!” They screamed, tears now in their eyes, “He’s your own brother and you have the audacity to say such a thing to him?!”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s his own fault! He’s a complete idiot! He never listens to what I say, it’s his own fault he ended up like that last night!”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“I’m not talking about last night! I’m talking about this morning when you broke him! Are you that stupid that you can’t see what your own words did to him?”</p><p> </p><p>Lucifer snapped and his arm lunged forward, grasping at the human’s throat as he lifted them off the ground, their legs kicking wildly. White filled his vision as he screamed at them, rage boiling over as he swung them towards the countertop.</p><p> </p><p>“I will not be insulted like this!”</p><p> </p><p>“Lucifer, stop!” Leviathan caught MC before they could go flying towards the stove. His tail curled around them protectively and he held them away from Lucifer even as he rounded the counter. Leviathan looked terrified, Lucifer thought, it would be easy to crush him too.</p><p> </p><p>“Get ahold of yourself!” Belphegor chucked his pillow at his head, causing enough of a distraction that Satan and Beel were able to rush in and push Lucifer back against the fridge. Pinning him to the cold metal, his wings flapped erratically in a frenzy, and he watched as Asmo helped MC to their feet, their face wincing with pain as they touched their throat. Belphegor stepped in between them, blocking his view of the human. He looked to Lucifer with fear before his expression stiffened into something more determined, and he shouted at MC-</p><p> </p><p>“He’s going to kill you if you don’t order him not to!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, okay! Just hold on a second,” they grimaced as they stumbled against the two brothers. Regaining their balance, they leveled a menacing glare at Lucifer and bellowed, “Lucifer, I order you to calm down this instant!”</p><p> </p><p>It was like the strength was being sapped from him, his transformation vanishing as he sagged against his brothers’ hold. Cautiously, they loosened their grip, but when he lifted his head, they doubled down, pushing him back against the surface and restraining his arms. It was almost like a crucifixion, nailed to the cross as the human slowly approached him. He could see the circle of bruising already forming around their throat, and heard their strained breathing. At their command, their senses cleared, and he realized that he might have actually done some serious damage. His hands twitched in an effort to reach forward, but Satan twisted his arm back around the side of the fridge and hissed out a <em>don’t. </em></p><p> </p><p>With a small cough, the human managed to regain their voice and then tilted their head to look up at him. Some blood dribbled down from their hairline, the rivulets weaving around their eyebrow and over their cheekbone as they frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m extremely disappointed in you, and that’s all I will say. Do not go near Mammon until I say otherwise. The rest of us, who actually care, will take care of him. Now, if you excuse me-”</p><p> </p><p>They devolved into a series of coughs, their body shaking as they wrapped their hands around their stomach, shuddering. Beel let go of Lucifer to help them, but they shooed his hands away.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to finish making food for Mammon, and go make sure he knows that he’s valued.”</p><p> </p><p>They started to walk back to the stove, but Asmo coaxed them out of the room, gently resting his own hands over theirs that palmed at their throat.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, sweetie… We should really get that fixed up for you before you go see Mammon…”</p><p> </p><p>Leviathan and Beel gave him a brief glare before they too walked out of the room. That left him and Satan, who was still twisting his arm. Once everyone was gone, he relented, and stepped away. He may have been the Avatar of Wrath, but Lucifer had never once seen him so cross before.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done,” he said, before he stormed off towards his study.</p><p> </p><p>Lucifer pressed one hand against his face, biting the inside of his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>It was still sore.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Mammon woke up to something snaking its way around him. At first, it was comforting, he recognized the hands brushing over his chest, the gentle weight at his back. They were the human’s hands, <em>his human, </em>and they were worming their way into the bed behind him. He had wanted this all week, and he was finally getting it. He could finally recharge and then he would stop feeling so shitty, he would finally be able to get back to running around and pissing his brothers off and-</p><p> </p><p>The hands running over him accidentally tipped a little bit <em>lower </em>and Mammon shot up out of the bed so fast he slammed his elbow against the bed frame. <em>Where was he? Was he back at the club? Was he in the alley? </em>Flashes of last night suddenly blended together with the photoshoot days prior, his body flaming with panic and vulnerability as memories of him being under the aphrodisiac mixed with the model running his hand too close to his hips, of the girls’ hands slipping under his waistband until he was fighting them off. He stumbled backwards, but then someone was talking to him, and he opened his eyes and-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was in the attic. MC was kneeling on the bed, looking at him nervously. There was a plate of food on the nightstand, and he was in the attic. He was at home. There was no one else in the room except for him and MC.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Mammon? I’m sorry, I thought you would have wanted- I’m sorry let me just,” they quickly got off the bed and stood on the other side of it, watching him with one hand pressed against their chest, the other stuck between pulling back and reaching out to him across the expanse, the divide he had created between them.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want this. He wanted to touch them, he wanted them to hold him, that was what he had been trying to do this whole week, wasn’t it? So why… Why was it suddenly so painful for him to be near them?</p><p> </p><p><em>“No,” </em>Mammon croaked, “No… I don’t want this.”</p><p> </p><p>They blinked at him confused. He flapped his arms, trembling as he stared at the bedsheets. He kept feeling the phantom hands coiling around him. It was killing him.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I want you… I want you <em>here,” </em>he tried, fumbling, “But, instead of your touch I feel… <em>I feel-”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>His hands fisted themselves in his shirt and he curled in on himself, falling to his knees as he rasped and struggled to breathe. He felt the floor vibrate as his human bounded over to him, hands flying around him, unsure of where to place or if to place them at all. His shoulders responded with him doubling over, his arms thrashing about, his face, he twisted away from them, sobs beginning to wrack his body.</p><p> </p><p>Lost about what else to do, MC finally just threw themselves around him, knocking him backwards and forcing his hands to fly back and catch his fall as they wrapped their arms around his neck, tucking their head into his collarbone as their body fell in between his legs and draped over his torso.</p><p> </p><p>At first, his body jolted against the weight, but then, he froze, upon feeling the body beginning to shake he brought one arm to rest around his human’s waist.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s… what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong? You’re asking me that? Really? Mammon…” Their hands fisted in the back of his shirt, “What happened to you this week? I feel like you’re a completely different person.”</p><p> </p><p>One part of him wanted to laugh, to give them a playful shove and rustle their hair as he told them they were getting worked up over nothing. He didn’t like this feeling, having someone sniveling all over him, but what he liked even less was the feeling of their touch being spoiled by those phantom pains, their hands not only mixing with memories of unwanted touches, but their little hiccuped breaths registering in his brain as the inhale before a punch. Any second now, he felt like they were going to pull back and he would see their face smirking at him, and their fist coming towards him.</p><p> </p><p>“I… had a bad couple of days…” he mumbled, hand floundering as it traced it way around their waist. Maybe if he tried to accept the touch, the kind, loving feeling he had longed for would overpower the bad ones, “I hadn’t gotten to see you much, and I just wanted to… hold you again, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Mammon,” they cooed, “That’s what you were trying to do yesterday… I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your fault. I was an ass about it, I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, you weren’t. I don’t want to hear you talk about yourself like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s true though.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s not. Now, shut up.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon closed his mouth at that, and soaked up their warmth. At the corners of his mind, he still felt those unwanted hands creeping towards him. He pressed his face into their hair and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out as much as he could.</p><p> </p><p>“I can tell something bad happened to you last night though… If you feel comfortable, would you mind telling me about it?”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon frowned, opening his eyes as the slimey feelings came back at full force, “First you tell me to shut up, now you want me to talk. Which is it?”</p><p> </p><p>MC started to push themselves off of Mammon, an apology on their lips, but he shut them up by tugging them back on top of his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t go apologizing, it’s just… I <em>want </em>to tell you, just like how I <em>want </em>to hold you, but both hurt. Just, give me another minute… I’m trying to just feel you before I have to think about <em>their </em>touch again.”</p><p> </p><p>Whoever <em>they </em>were, MC didn’t press. His human must have understood, because they snuggled closer to Mammon, and pressed their lips against his neck. Mammon slowly leaned back against the floor, pulling MC down with him as he turned to the side, cuddling close to them as he tucked his arm around their head, pulling them in impossibly closer.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this okay?” MC asked him as they rested one hand on Mammon’s waist. They lifted it off when he didn’t respond right away, but then he was tangling his fingers in theirs and pulling it back down to rest there. Testing it out, he pressed their hand down, waiting for another one of the phantom pains to replace it. When it didn’t, he pressed it down further, and then slowly let his fingers fall away, leaving their soft, kind touch alone and warm against his skin.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” he whispered, “yeah… Thank you-”</p><p> </p><p>Beelzebub found them later, and carefully helped relocate the two of them to the bed, where they slept until noon.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After Mammon had been fed and told MC about what had happened at the bar and the days before that, they stepped out of the room a moment to think. Unfortunately, they were immediately bombarded by the five other brothers waiting around the corner of the hall, curious about what they could do to help their brother out.</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Lucifer?” MC asked, scanning the crowd. Sure, they had given him an order to stay away, but they still wanted to make sure he wasn’t sneaking out of the house to visit Diavolo. Then again, if he was, the Prince would have texted them by now about it.</p><p> </p><p>After initially carrying Mammon upstairs, MC had informed Diavolo about the worrying state of the household, and had stated they had taken measures to make sure that whatever strife was going on between the brothers would be resolved by the end of the day. They had also apologized for any work that was delayed because of it, but Diavolo had phoned them and interrupted their string of apologies, telling them to take all the time they needed to ensure whatever was happening was taken care of.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Lucifer has not contacted me yet, but I imagine it will not be too long until I hear his version of events. I will make sure to tell him to stay as well. It will be good for him to have a day off. Even if it’s spent with you lecturing him, it will not be wasted. Barbatos and I can manage.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Again, I’m very sorry about this. I know you said the last assignment was very important, but I’m still trying to figure out what happened and-”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I understand. The fact that you said you were compelled to use your pact on him is enough evidence for me. This is clearly an important matter. That being said, I will be available if you need to speak with me at all during the day. I know normally Lucifer is your guiding figure, but since the House seems to be compromised right now, if you need advice at all, I will be waiting.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Thank you, Lord Diavolo. I promise, I will fix this. Mammon might still need some time, but Lucifer will return to school by tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“If it takes longer than that, don’t worry. Consider this a replacement assignment instead of the last one I gave you. You have as much time as you need. And, if anything else happens, please do not hesitate to use your pacts again. I know you didn’t make them for the same reasons as Solomon, but, for Mammon’s and all of our sakes, protect yourself. When Lucifer comes out of whatever thoughts are consuming him, he will never forgive himself if he hurt you.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“</em>I understand,” was all they said, and the phone call had ended.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Lucifer is in his office,” Leviathan answered, bringing MC back to the present, “He’ll likely be there the whole day.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine. That’s fine,” MC grumbled, dragging their hand down their face. It wasn’t, knowing Lucifer was just distracting himself with paperwork instead of reflecting on his actions, but they would have to deal with that later, “What do you guys need?”</p><p> </p><p>“Us? We want to know what we can do for Mammon,” Satan said.</p><p> </p><p>“He still hasn’t gotten washed yet, right? I already started running a bath, you can bring him to my room and I’ll help you clean him up,” Asmo offered, arms full of bath products he had snatched up and likely was going to have Mammon pick from.</p><p> </p><p>“He already ate, but if he’s still tired, Beel and I can spend time with him,” Belphegor yawned, “Or Levi was gonna offer him his games to play.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, hold on. I don’t know if he’s going to want anyone right now,” MC said, and regretted it immediately, seeing how their faces all fell, “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“We weren’t the ones who said those things to him, you know,” Satan hissed, “That was all Lucifer. We’re not guilty.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” MC straightened up against the door, standing tall so as to be more eye-level with the wrathful brother, “But you all have been mean to him for centuries, right? I find it hard to believe this hasn’t happened before.”</p><p> </p><p>“But when we do it, we’re only teasing!” Asmo whined, and MC’s expression darkened.</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t matter. Frankly, if that’s all you guys believe you’ve been doing, then I really don’t want to let you into the room <em>at all. </em>Mammon’s shaken up about more than just what Lucifer said, in fact, I’m pretty sure he’s not even thinking about that right now, and I would like to keep it that way. If he sees any of you again, it might make him remember this morning.”</p><p> </p><p>“But you were mean to him too, MC,” Leviathan pointed out, “on Wednesday.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know,” they muttered, “which is why I’m out here right now. I already apologized to him, but… he’s told me some things, and I don’t know if he would be okay being swarmed by anyone right now. I can ask if he’s up to maybe taking a bath, but I don’t know if he’ll want anyone around. He’s… pretty shaken up about things.”</p><p> </p><p>Satan caught the change in their tone, and ushered them towards the sitting room down the hall, “What did he tell you? Please, if you enlighten us, it might help us all be on the same page of how we can make it up to our brother.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>A few minutes passed before Mammon heard a knock at the door again. His human entered after he gave them permission, and once he saw them again, he was filled with the sudden need to be held by them again. He reached towards them, and watched as their expression flickered from startled to loving and they rushed forward, quickly pulling him close to them and running their fingers through his hair. He hummed into it, greedily taking it all in.</p><p> </p><p>“So, uh… Asmo was wondering if you wanted to take a bath. In his room,” they whispered as they pressed their cheek against the top of his head, “If you don’t want to, I’ll tell him to go away, but they all are really worried about you, and um...  I figured you would want to get cleaned up since you still smell like puke from last night, but if you just wanted me with you I could-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, MC,” he said sitting up and pushing them away with his hand on their chest lightly, “Thank you. I’m feeling better so… I’ll… I’ll go see Asmo.”</p><p> </p><p>They watched Mammon stride to the door without another word, a smile on his expression and he waved to them before he disappeared outside of it. He missed the way his human’s face crumbled as the door closed. He was lying, it was plain as day that the smile was fake. The mention of his brother having closed him off again.</p><p> </p><p><em>Lucifer would pay for this, </em>they thought, wiping tears away angrily, <em>he would surrender his pride and apologize. </em></p><p> </p><p>Mammon walked down the hall towards the stairs, expecting to have a few minutes on his journey to Asmodeus’ room to clear his head. It was unusually quiet, although he had not been in the attic level of the House of Lamentation often enough to discern if the noise of Levi’s shitty music, or their constant bickering drifted to the upstairs floor, but still, it was disconcerting. He felt bad, leaving MC so abruptly, but he had been festering with the leftover, invisible grime of vomit encasing his skin, even if he had let them wipe his skin down with a wet cloth when he had been getting changed earlier. If Asmo wanted to give him a bath, then so be it. He felt bad, hugging his human when he was still so gross. It reminded him of last night’s haze, when he had touched them and gotten puke in their hair and face, and when Lucifer came down and told them to wash up-</p><p> </p><p>He reached the staircase when he stiffened, Lucifer’s cold and harsh gaze piercing him as though the man was in front of him with his holy weapon, stabbing straight through his lungs. Phantom pains of the kick and then the sound of the vase clattering came back to him, and those <em>words-</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Mammon?” Asmo’s voice quirked from above the railing. Mammon glanced over to the side, seeing his younger brother peeking over one of the couches in the sitting area at the end of the hall. He had various bottles and bath products spread out on the coffee table there, “Where are you going?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh no, had he gotten the wrong idea? Had MC lied to him? No, they would never do that, but what if they had lied and said Asmo wanted to take care of him only to get his hopes up. If he said he was going to Asmo’s room, he would probably get insulted, called disgusting, like he had done the other day. He could just take a shower in his own room. His leg was still sore, but he would feel better drowning under the spray of his own bathroom’s water than cramped in a room with his brother mocking him for even thinking he cared-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Mammon?” Asmo repeated, now closer to him, waving his hand in front of his face, “You didn’t answer my question. Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh,” Mammon nervously looked anywhere but Asmo, shuffling away from him as his hand slinked away, meticulously avoiding touching him, not that Mammon noticed that, “I was just going to take a shower. MC was complaining that I stink so-”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, did they not tell you I already prepared a bath for you? I had brought a bunch of stuff for you to choose from! Come over here and you can pick which scent or salt you want! I brought the best stuff!”</p><p> </p><p>The younger demon started to skip away, but very quickly stopped when he noticed Mammon wasn’t following.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you… not want to? If you actually want to just take a shower, I won’t pressure you.”</p><p> </p><p><em>This felt weird, very weird, </em>Mammon decided, his mouth sour and he did not like the taste of it one bit. Asmo didn’t act <em>nice </em>around him, he didn’t offer his bath up to anyone. He didn’t let people select from any of his expensive products. Only MC had gotten the chance to grace his bathroom once, and that was months ago. It bugged Mammon to see Asmo looking so conflicted and unsure, shifting his weight on his feet as he waited for his older brother to respond. It was so very <em>un-Asmo like. </em>It made Mammon sick.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you… sure you want me in your room? I mean, I figured you don’t want anything like puke residue staining your tub…”</p><p> </p><p>Asmo practically crooned at that, rushing back over to his brother as though he was going to hug him, but quickly pulled back when he noticed the other flinching.</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I don’t like it one bit. I know part of it is my fault though, although most of it is Lucifer’s, so let me do this little bit that I can, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Then, with his head tilted down, he reached forward, and gently wrapped his hands around Mammon’s bicep, his voice a whisper as he asked, “Is this okay?”</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t <em>feel </em>okay to Mammon, but he was quickly realizing it was more of a sinking feeling in his chest than the burning flesh sensation that he had felt before when someone touched him. Giving a small nod, he grunted out a<em> yeah </em>and instantly Asmo was a ball of energy and excitement, tugging him towards the bottles he had lined up to ask him for his favorite. Mammon let himself be dragged along and forced into selecting a product, and then Asmo was scooping them all up and dragging him down the stairs and into his bedroom. He threw everything down on the bed and grabbed a bathrobe from the back of his door before he shoved Mammon into the bathroom, stopping the bathwater just before it overflowed from the tub, and then tossed a towel at Mammon.</p><p> </p><p>“Strip, and then rinse yourself off,” he ordered, “I may be generous, but you’re right about the fact that I don’t want any puke in the tub. But then again, I don’t think you’ll enjoy it bathing in your own grime.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon smirked, watching as his brother dunked the bath bomb he had selected into the water, “Ha, good to see you’re back to your normal self,” he said, kicking off the sweatpants he had been wrestled into before. The bath bomb fizzled from a bright white into a shimmering gold once it reached the center, exploding and turning the entire water to a glittering mixture.</p><p> </p><p>Asmo swirled the water around with his hand to even it out a bit, “You’re one to talk. Now, rinse off already before the water gets cold.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya.”</p><p> </p><p>Once Mammon had been soaking in the bathtub for a good half hour, and Asmo had stopped bugging him about what lotions and face masks he wanted when he got out, Asmo decided to briefly vanish, the sound of a door opening and closing over the quiet music that was playing being his only indication that he had left. Shutting his eyes, Mammon let himself be lulled by the music into some relaxation, and let his thoughts come to him.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, the memory of Lucifer’s words came back to him at full force. But now, with no eyes on him and without the emptiness of the House’s endless halls crushing him from all sides, he felt himself able to think about it calmly. He kept his breathing normal, and merely mulled over what he said with the smallest twinge of sadness.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Was it my fault?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>It was all so long ago…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I only remember a handful of the battles I actually fought in…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>If I hadn’t gone to help Lucifer, would we have won?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Would Lilith had lived if I hadn’t rushed in?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Was I being reckless?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Am I really that much of a screw-up?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Would they all have been better off without me?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Would their lives be better if I didn’t exist anymore?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Asmodeus returned to the bathroom singing a ditty, a bottle of wine in his hand as he shut the door with a bump of his hip. Taking in the mixture of scents from the lemon bathwater and the aroma of the candles, he opened his mouth to announce his gracious gift of some of his finest wine when-</p><p> </p><p>The bottle promptly shattered against the tile when he saw Mammon’s head under the water. Even under the thin layer of the glitter, he should have seen something- <em>bubbles, movement, the liquid swirling as Mammon began to come back up. How long had he been under there for? What if-</em></p><p> </p><p>Asmo’s mind was screaming as his body acted on instinct alone. He teleported over to the tub and wrenched Mammon up out of it, the bottle being abandoned by the bathroom door and dropped by how fast he moved. The shattering came at the same time as Asmo’s cry as Mammon suddenly came to life, sputtering and coughing as he was abruptly tipped over the edge of the tub and slammed into the hard tile floor. Asmodeus’s arms were around his and pulling him up into his lap, and it took him a minute through all his own yelling to realize what he was blubbering about.</p><p> </p><p>“I-I thought you- you died! I came back and saw you were under the water and thought you fell asleep or tried to drown yourself cause of what Lucifer said and what <em>I’ve </em>said and I just saw your body and thought-!”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon cut him off by shoving his palm in his face, covering his mouth as he struggled to get up and not slip and fall in the glittery puddle of water that had spilled over with him. He shook his head like a dog, spraying Asmodeus with droplets of water as he struggled to get the hair out of his eyes, eventually sitting up against the side of the tub and coughing once before it turned into a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>Asmodeus was silent even as Mammon’s hand left his mouth and instead went to push his bangs back. He was smiling, his features crinkled as his entire body shook with the laughter that eventually turned into cackling. When he was done, he wiped the tears from his eyes, looking at him with one eye beaming with life.</p><p> </p><p>Asmodeus thought he had never seen someone who looked so beautiful-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-And yet so full of pain.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Ah geez, I was just dunking my head under for a second. Didn’t think I would scare you that much. I haven’t seen you cry like that since you were a baby. Oh, scratch that, actually, I think you cried a little bit harder when you thought Solomon was gonna break it off with you after he caught you with that girl at the club. Sheesh,” he ran his hand through his hair again, and while Asmo was still entranced by that smile, he could tell from how his eyes quickly dimmed when he glanced away, that it was fake.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate you!” Asmo cried, shoving him lightly, “Here I was thinking that what Lucifer said got you suicidal! Don’t go scaring me like that!” His voice was tingeing on whining, but Asmo decided to play it in his favor. He saddled up against his brother, resting his head against his shoulder, “You got me all wet now.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re gonna get more water on you if you stay this close to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up. This is your punishment for scaring me,” he said, his breath stuttering as he felt a new wave of tears spring to life. He pressed his face against Mammon’s collarbone, going quiet as he put his hand on Mammon’s chest, feeling the rising and falling of it as he breathed.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, a hand threaded into his hair and he heard Mammon whisper out an “I’m sorry,” before a kiss was planted on his head, and the two were silent.</p><p> </p><p>Mammon kept the fact to himself that he had unconsciously been testing out how long it would take him to feel his lungs start to burn if he held his breath underwater. His thoughts had spiralled quickly, and suddenly it had become a fun game that helped him control his breathing when he felt it panicking again. MC wasn’t here with him right now, so there wasn’t anyone telling him to mimic their breathing, to take it slow. There was just him, and the glittering gold bath water staring back at him. He couldn’t even see his own reflection.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Would it still be gold if I was underneath it? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>If I died in this, at least I would be surrounded by the thing I love the most, </em>he had thought.</p><p> </p><p>He pushed the thoughts aside, and looked towards the light coming from the window at the end of Asmo’s bathroom. Although there was no sunlight like in the human world, he could tell by the brightness of the moon and its position that it was likely around  one in the afternoon now. The day was passing by so quickly, and he felt like he wasn’t really there for any of it. It was like he was watching his body go through the motions from afar, his soul a ghost in the walls of the house.</p><p> </p><p>“I was going to give you some wine, but I don’t want you to have any alcohol right now,” Asmo confessed.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I appreciate the gesture, but after last night, I don’t want any alcohol for a while,” his body said, and he watched from afar as his hands continued to scratch at Asmo’s scalp, even when the other sat up and pushed away from him.</p><p> </p><p>“I want to wash your hair,” Asmo said, resolutely, “Let’s get you back in the tub. I’ve got some new stuff I want to try out, and I don’t want to use it for the first time on me and find out it ruins my hair. Be my test subject.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon smirked, “Fine, sounds fair to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon sunk back into the water of the bath and leaned his head back off the edge, letting his arms drape along the sides of the porcelain while his feet were propped up on the edge of it. Asmo moved about the bathroom, gathering bottles before he began to massage something in his hair.</p><p> </p><p>“Does this feel okay?” Asmo asked, as he dug his nails at Mammon’s roots, pulling his bangs back into the rest of the clump of hair he had soaped up.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you feel okay?” He rephrased the question, leaning over to watch his brother’s expression as he opened his eyes before he glanced away. Mammon watched his body make eye contact with his ghost at the far corner, before tilting his head back and sighing into the touch.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After Asmo had thoroughly pampered Mammon and tried to dress him in his silkiest pajamas (Mammon had kindly rejected and slipped back into his sweatpants and t-shirt from earlier), Mammon decided to retire to his own bedroom, not wanting to make the trek back upstairs to the attic, and also because he was sure that the sheets up there were stained with his vomit still. He shot a text to MC when he discovered his phone had been relocated to charge at his bedside, knowing that they were somewhere in the house and would come visit again soon, and flopped down on his bed for a moment to scroll through Devilgram.</p><p> </p><p>He heard a knock at his door and rolled the other way, giving a groan in response. He listened absently to the footsteps moving towards him before his mattress sank with a heavy weight. He turned his head and then shoved his face into the pillow when he saw blonde hair.</p><p> </p><p>“I knew it was you. MC ain’t that heavy that they tip my bed over.”</p><p> </p><p>“Must you insult me? I merely came to check on you. Asmodeus said you gave him quite a scare earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>“I already apologized for that. He just got confused when he saw me under the water. It’s his fault for being so damn concerned.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh? And shouldn’t we be concerned? Did you forget what happened this morning?”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon tossed his phone aside and pressed his face deeper into the pillow, grumbling out, “I’m trying to forget, if you haven’t noticed.”</p><p> </p><p>He turned on his stomach, his hands at his sides as he tried to ignore Satan who was still sitting on his bed, intent to stare him down until he caved and had to turn back over for air. <em>Jokes on him though, </em>Mammon thought with a smirk, <em>if I suffocate here, then so be it. This will be how I go out.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Satan was sitting with his arms crossed, body twisted towards his brother as his legs hung over the edge of the bed. He felt frustration ebbing away at his temples as his brother continued to be stubborn and ignore him when he was merely trying to have a talk with him. He had been shocked when MC revealed to them that Mammon confessed to be assaulted <em>twice </em>this week, not just physically potentially <em>sexually, </em>and everything in Satan’s body was screaming to interrogate Mammon on what they looked like so he could go out and find the <em>jackasses </em>who dared to even touch his brother, but MC had confined them all to the house, so he was forced to simmer with these feelings until tomorrow. The moment the pact’s control on them lifted, he would be gone, smashing those <em>fuckers </em>into a wall the same way they had done with Mammon.</p><p> </p><p>But, Satan sighed as he remembered how he had found Asmodeus cleaning up the spilled wine bottle in his bathroom, his expression fell into sadness when he remembered his younger brother tensing up and shaking when he confessed to having thought Mammon was dead, that he was too late to help him and Mammon had gone and disappeared from them all.</p><p> </p><p>Comfort wasn’t his skill. None of them were particularly affectionate except for maybe Belphegor, who just cuddled up to people by habit when he got sleepy. They all were demons, cast out of heaven for their destruction and unholy, selfish desire for things. Satan himself was proof of that, created with the strongest control over rage and revenge. He was the least suitable to be coaxing his older brother, who had survived the Celestial War and now had all those war-memories spat back in his face, from whatever suicidal thoughts he was thinking right now.</p><p> </p><p>So, instead, Satan reached for Mammon’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>Upon their skin touching, Mammon turned his head, revealing one eye as he carefully dragged his hand away.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want?”</p><p> </p><p>“I was just thinking about this morning,” Satan said, staring at the empty space on the comforter where Mammon’s hand had been, “when I came downstairs and you started… <em>reacting,” </em>Satan chose his words carefully, already in uncertain territory but worried about jumping in too fast, causing another reaction like Asmodeus accidentally did, “how you seemed repulsed by my touch. I was curious if you still felt that way.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon glared at him for a moment before he rustled around, eventually settling on flipping over on his back and staring up at his ceiling. He remembered feeling a lot of things this morning, <em>overwhelmed </em>being the most prominent of all those feelings. It was like he was empty now, with such a strong, hyper start, everything else was in slow motion. He was honestly hoping just to sleep some more to see if he could just get the day over with, so the next morning he could wake up and hopefully have a fresh start. There was nothing left to do. He really didn’t want to think any more about it.</p><p> </p><p>But… he did remember wanting to be touched. He shut his eyes and distinctly remembered how when he <em>did </em>glance up while in his state of panic and saw his brothers’ faces, they all were marred distinctly by <em>worry </em>and <em>fear. </em>Satan had been the first to rush to him, the first to try and touch him before touch became a <em>bad thing </em>in his mind and everything in his system became overloaded. Now though…</p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t repulsed, I was just… a bit freaked out if you hadn’t noticed,” Mammon grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“I did very much notice, I was just offended because you seem so adverse to me being here now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, maybe that’s because I just want to be alone. I may have slept, but I still have a hangover from last night. After those bitches got drugs in me I-”</p><p> </p><p><em>“They drugged you?” </em>Satan’s voice took on an edge as he grabbed a fistful of the blankets, “MC didn’t tell me that.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon’s first instinct was to shout out ‘<em>They told you???’ </em>But instead, he just leaned back on the pillow and tossed an arm over his eyes, “Yeah. My head was already ringing since Wednesday when I first got beat up, but then I got drugged and then they tried to mess with me outside the club and then some guys came up and attacked me cause they thought I was messing with the girl. To put it simply, I had sort of had my fair share of <em>touching </em>by the time I got back to the house.”</p><p> </p><p>Satan was nearly about to transform, ready to don his full power in order to just smash the nearest object to pieces so that he could feel some semblance of control over the situation rather than his blood boiling.</p><p> </p><p>“So, no, it’s not you <em>personally </em>I’m offended by, I just really want to sleep so I can get this day over with and wake up with everything the same as it was tomorrow. There’s no more ringing, but my headache is still raging.”</p><p> </p><p>That made Satan pause in his seething, “Wait, you still have a headache? And your head was ringing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Since Wednesday, get with the program already. Now, do you have any more questions, or can I sleep?”</p><p> </p><p>“You could have a concussion!” Satan said, standing up suddenly, “I mean, you already slept a few times, but I don’t know if there is a chance you could still go into a coma if you slept now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to go comatose. I’ll be here for you all to kick around tomorrow morning,” Mammon said, his voice growing more edge with every minute Satan continued to bombard him with questions.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want you to sleep just yet. Not until your headache goes away. Where did it start?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just a hangover, bro.”</p><p> </p><p><em>“Where?” </em>He asked, grabbing Mammon’s arm and pulling it off his face so they were forced to face one another. Mammon quickly rolled his eyes and looked away.</p><p> </p><p>“The back of my head-”</p><p> </p><p>“Weren’t you bleeding this morning there? Didn’t you get hurt when you knocked into the vase? Is it still cut?”</p><p> </p><p>“If it was, Asmo would have complained about getting blood on his nails when he washed my hair. I’m telling you, I’m <em>fine, </em>Satan. If you want me to stay awake that badly, then get me some painkillers and find something to entertain me, or else, <em>get out.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Satan padded over to the medicine cabinet in Mammon’s bathroom, scanning the number of bottles that decorated the inside of it with various colors until he settled on the Aspirin. He read the dosage and began to tip the bottle until the tablets spilled out into his hand, and suddenly he was struck by the thought-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How many of these medicines could Mammon overdose on if he wanted to?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He glanced back at the medicines in the cabinet. There were quite a number of them, and while some Satan didn’t recognize the brand names of them, his concern became quite real when he thought about how any mixture of them in extreme quantities could likely kill Mammon either way, or at least put him in such a state that a coma would be the <em>best </em>outcome. He desperately tried to shake away the thought, pulling the mirror back to cover the boxes of pills and taking a moment to school his expression into something neutral as he stored the list of medicines in his mind for later.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps getting Mammon to sleep quickly was the best option. Then he could sneak these medicines out of his room and any other sharp objects to help assuage his worries.</p><p> </p><p>“Here,” Satan said, bringing a cup of water with the pills to Mammon’s bedside, “Take these.”</p><p> </p><p>“Took you long enough,” Mammon sat up and quickly swiped the pills from Satan’s hand, and the younger brother tried not to show his pursed expression faltering when he felt the warmth of Mammon’s fingers brushing over him briefly. As Mammon chugged the water, Satan sat back down on the bed, and waited until Mammon had flopped back on his side, before he reached out again to touch his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Still worried about me falling asleep? You know the medicine you just gave me is gonna make me sleepy either way.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was just thinking, it might be <em>better </em>for you to take a nap.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh? Well then tell me a bedtime story, since you’re so adamant about hanging out in here watching over me,” Mammon snarked, but allowed Satan to entwine his fingers in his.</p><p> </p><p>“After MC and Beel brought you upstairs this morning, I remembered something from when I was little,” he confessed.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, don’t get all gross and sappy with me now,” Mammon said.</p><p> </p><p>“No, listen to me,” he leaned in, eyes looking at their hands resting on Mammon’s bed, “I really don’t know anything about the Celestial War, since I came after it of course, so when Lucifer said those things… I was really confused.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon frowned and shifted to face away. Satan continued.</p><p> </p><p>“Because, when you all fell, and Lucifer raged and then I was born, all I remember is how you all had to help raise me. Devildom was still being built, you all had just been newly banished to the realm of Hell, so you obviously weren’t sure what was safe and what was going to hurt you. I was the exception though, being born a demon, the fires and such didn’t hurt me. The rest of you hadn’t fully turned yet though, and I remember distinctly,” he brushed his thumb over Mammon’s hand, “the first few times I walked into some pits of fire or off a cliff, it was always you rushing in after me, even if it got you burned or cut up. The others made fun of you for it, since you always seemed to forget that I was immune to it all.”</p><p> </p><p>“They called me an idiot…”</p><p> </p><p>“And I thought so too, I remember Lucifer telling me to call you that too, saying it was your own fault that you got yourself hurt. But… just because I was immune to that stuff, doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared of it…”</p><p> </p><p>Satan continued to massage Mammon’s hand, his voice now tight with emotion as he struggled to sort out his thoughts, “And after I thought about that, I thought about all the times you bought me things. Beel was always bringing me food, and I could sleep with Belphegor, but whenever Lucifer didn’t have time for me, and I would cry and wreck another one of the nine circles, you would be the one to come to my rescue, showering me with gifts and money until I stopped crying.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was trying to teach you greed,” Mammon whispered, shutting his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“But, in my rage, I destroyed practically everything you brought me. You got caught in the crossfire a few times too, I remember accidentally burning your skin when you tried to bring me a car and I erupted a volcano next to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” he chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“And... even though every time you tried the same thing, to throw material goods and possessions at me, the only thing that made me stop crying-”</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, don’t say it,” Mammon ripped himself away from Satan’s hand and crushed the pillow around his ears, covering his face, although Satan could see the blush on his cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>“Listen, this is embarrassing for me too,” Satan coughed, trying to hide his own redness behind his hand, “I’m trying to be honest with you though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah. The only thing that made you stop whining was when you got a hug from ‘the Great Mammon’! I know, I was there. Let me sleep now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was wondering, if that same thing would work now,” Satan whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Mammon released his grip on the pillow, let it fall back to its original position on the bed. He sat up on his elbows, looking at Satan with his brow arched, “What you talking about? You’re not whining for Lucifer right now so what’s the-”</p><p> </p><p>As he pushed himself further up to get a better look, Satan tackled him a hug. Similar to how Asmo had done it, he immediately felt the other press their face into his neck, but instead of the tears from Asmo, this time he felt the hot embarrassment of his brother’s blush warming his skin.</p><p> </p><p>“When you were freaking out this morning, I didn’t know what to do and then you wouldn’t let me touch you! I was scared because even though I have read about things like this, I had no idea how to help you! I know nothing about the Celestial War so I felt like I had no place in telling Lucifer off but I knew he was wrong because I know how kind you were to me always! You’re not a screw up, Mammon…”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon felt his hands shaking the more Satan held him.</p><p> </p><p>“Then MC took you away and comes back telling us what happened to you and then Asmo was telling me you might have tried to kill yourself- and whether it was a misunderstanding or not now I’m just thinking about the pills in your cabinet and all the different combinations that could be deadly and I-”</p><p> </p><p>“Shuddup already,” Mammon said, laying down against the pillow as he wrapped his arms around Satan, “I get it, I get it. I scared all of you. I’m sorry. Here. Is this making it better? Will you stop crying now that I hugged you?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not that you idiot…” Satan cried, his grip on Mammon growing tighter, “You shouldn’t be the one apologizing. It wasn’t your fault!”</p><p> </p><p>“Heh, Lucifer seems to think differently…”</p><p> </p><p>“Then I’ll tear him apart until he apologizes and tells you the truth! As soon as MC lets me go, I’m going to go find those assholes who hurt you and tear them apart, for every time they slammed you or even<em> looked </em>at you, I’ll bash them into the ground. For those bitches who <em>drugged you, </em>I’ll-”</p><p> </p><p>“Now, I don’t think MC will appreciate having to deal with another one of us coming home beaten up. They already have their hands full with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care! I’ll-”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, I get it, but my headache is going away finally and I’m really tired, so do you think you can just let me sleep for now? We can talk more about your wrath when I wake up.”</p><p> </p><p>Satan shifted and Mammon felt his frown against his skin, “You still might have a concussion. I’m worried that you’ll-”</p><p> </p><p>“If I start seizing or something in my sleep, you’ll be here to deal with it. Let me sleep now though,” Mammon fake slurred, “Besides, you lose your ‘eloquent language’ or whatever when you get like this. You just sound stupid. Sleep now.”</p><p> </p><p>As Mammon pretended to drift off, he loosened his hold on Satan just enough to give him an out. <em>This could just be an act, </em>he thought, <em>something for them to laugh about later. If he leaves, I’ll know that he-</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>But Satan just used this opening to reach up and pull the blanket over them both, and moved closer. He felt another kiss on his forehead and Satan’s mumbling before he fell actually unconscious.</p><p> </p><p>“You do have a fever… Well, we can deal with that later.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Mammon woke up, it was not to Satan beside him, but three large bodies all pressed into his side. A cursory glance around revealed that Beelzebub, Belphegor, and Leviathan had weaseled their way into his room whenever Satan had left. Beelzebub and Belphegor were both fast asleep, with Beel having shifted Mammon in his sleep so he was practically sprawled out on top of him. Belphie had wedged himself between Mammon’s arms, where Satan had been but flipped, and the purple head of Leviathan was resting against his knee. Levi appeared to be the only one awake, as there was a distinctive sound of video game laser noises coming from whatever console was in his hands. They were relatively low volume laser noises, so at least he was trying to be considerate.</p><p> </p><p>“Yo, get your head off me. My leg’s asleep,” Mammon said as he shifted to knock him in the back of his head. Upon impact, Levi growled and leaned back to shoot his brother a glare. From the loud, sudden sound coming from his game console, Mammon assumed he had made his brother mess up his game. He propped his head up on his hand and smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey yourself. Was that anyway to greet people who have been worried sick about you?”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon pinched the bridge of his nose and flopped back down on Beel’s chest, “Ugh, no. Not you too. I can’t deal with another lecture or sappy stories about our past.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you still have a headache?” Levi asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you talk to Satan?”</p><p> </p><p>“When he left to go make dinner, yes. He figured you wouldn’t want to wake up alone, so the rest of us sort of piled in here. Belphie was the first to volunteer though, seeing as you were asleep he didn’t think you would bother him too much.”</p><p> </p><p>At his name, the youngest one stirred, cracking one eye as the other remained smushed against his favorite pillow, “Yeah, unfortunately that was a mistake. You’re already annoying.”</p><p> </p><p>“Belphie!” Levi hissed, “We all agreed not to talk like that anymore!”</p><p> </p><p>“Like what? <em>Oh,” </em>the youngest’s tone dropped low as he seemed to realize something, waking up a bit more as he shifted and pulled himself closer to Mammon again, “Sorry, I forgot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, woah, woah. Wait a second,” Mammon said, lifting his arms up and back into Beel, trying to escape Belphie’s grasp, “Did you all make some sort of agreement not to be mean to me now?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh…” Levi nervously looked between his game and Mammon. Belphie just made another sleepy noise, but Mammon felt him nod slightly against his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, no. Okay, this is weird. Everybody out. I’ve only been awake for a minute and I already hate this. Get off.”</p><p> </p><p>He started to kick and thrash, sending Belphie flying off the bed, and Levi to the foot of it. He only stopped when Beel woke up, restraining Mammon in his arms as he sat up.</p><p> </p><p>“Calm down, Mammon. You knocked Belphie off.”</p><p> </p><p>“That was the point!”</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon, what’s your problem? Shouldn’t you be happy we’re being nice to you?” Levi asked, setting his game system on the floor so as to avoid it getting sent flying if Mammon decided to have another tantrum. Instead, he wrestled himself free of Beel and stood up on the bed, pointing an accusatory finger towards him.</p><p> </p><p>“No! It means nothing if you all made some stupid promise to lie to me! Especially after all this time you’ve spent being rude to me! It’s just… weird!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It means you’re pretending you care. It means Asmo wasn’t actually worried about me drowning, that Satan didn’t actually mean what he said about me hugging him. That all those tears were fake, that-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not weird if it helps you,” Beel said, sitting up.</p><p> </p><p>“It is weird!”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s really not,” Belphie said from the floor, having dragged his pillow with him so he was just making himself comfortable wherever he landed, “You’re being weird by saying it’s weird.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Mammon, MC thought you would be happy if we started being nicer to you. They were the one who thought we had been too mean to you. They were worried that you might have had a breakdown like this before and we hadn’t noticed.”</p><p> </p><p>The notion that MC had been behind this niceness pact made him bristle even more.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When did they decide to make this? Was it this morning? Was it before they visited me upstairs? Was that all a lie too? Were they just trying to make me feel better?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No, they’ve always been nice to me. They have been nice to me since they got here. They probably thought that this promise between everyone would help me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>But what if they had actually just been pitying him?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Mammon couldn’t handle the thought that his human had just been lying to him the whole time.</p><p> </p><p>“Mammon…? Hey… Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Levi’s voice.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Mammon, sit down. You might hurt yourself if you fall…”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Belphie. He was standing up, tugging on Mammon’s arm. He sounded scared.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Mammon.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Beel’s strong arms came up to push on his shoulder, trying to coax him down. It felt like the bodyguard who came up behind him after he punched the model. It started with a hand on the shoulder, and quickly escalated to his face in a wall.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>And that had been what eventually led to Lucifer telling him he was a fuck up and he was the reason their sister was dead.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Stop! Get away from me!” Mammon yelled, rushing past Belphie and over Levi, rushing towards the stairs to the balcony in his room. It wasn’t much, but he could at least hide in the car he had sitting up there. They would leave him alone if he just disappeared under the backseat or something. He didn’t think Beel would go so far as to tear the doors off just to keep up a stupid lie that he cared.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t even get up the first step before he was being snaked back down, Levi’s tail from his demon form having snatched his leg and was yanking him back. Beel caught him and held him still even as he set him on solid ground. He ripped around in his hold, screaming at them to let him go. Over his own noise, he barely registered Belphie-</p><p> </p><p>“Beel, he’s starting to hyperventilate again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Should we get MC?” Levi panicked, but Belphie shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re talking to Lucifer right now. Just let him go and he should be okay, let’s talk this out.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Lucifer? </em>Mammon went still at the name, just as Beel began to release his hold on him. <em>Were they trying to get him on the niceness act too?</em><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Mammon, please, tell us what we did wrong,” Levi asked, and Mammon could see the stress straining his face. But the voice inside his head told him <em>it’s all an act. They don’t really care.</em></p><p> </p><p>His head was reeling, but he had enough after being toyed around with all day. He had been beating around the bush since this morning, and at this point, he would rather just swallow his pride and get it over with. If he was direct then maybe they would leave him alone at last, and he could just wake up tomorrow with this all being a dream-like memory and he could go back to being the scapegoat of his brothers and just hanging on MC’s arm or curling up in their bed whenever the words became too much for him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But what if they were faking it too?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Asmo and Satan both were crying when they left you. None of us felt comfortable to handle you alone, so we all came. We want to help you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lies. They didn’t care. They were just feeding him what MC wanted them too. They pitied him. They were a human, and when they were dragged down here and Mammon was assigned to them, they saw just how pitiful and sad he was, and just acted nice so he wouldn’t kill them. They probably found them a nuisance, just like his brothers. They probably hated it when he climbed into their bed and talked about him behind his back to his brothers. They were probably in on all the insults. They made a pact with him first to get him under their control, just so they could order him away when they got sick of him. Thursday was just the beginning. It was the first time he had pushed them over the edge. From here on out it would just be-</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Breathe Mammon. Please, breathe.”</p><p> </p><p>His vision cleared and Levi was in front of him, and he was pulling at his hands, trying to drag them away from his ears. Belphie was in the background, looking on with what appeared to be a blank face, but Mammon took note of how he was biting his lip, and how his hands seemed ready to tear the pillow apart like a string about to snap. Beel was still behind him, he could feel the heat radiating off of him, but there was no contact. He was just standing there.</p><p> </p><p>It made Mammon more nervous. He couldn’t see what Beel was doing. What if he just decided to reach out and snap his neck now?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He had always been the closest to Lilith. If he believed what Lucifer said, he should just kill him in his sleep, free himself from the constant reminder that he failed them, he failed them, hefailedhefailed<strong>hefailedhefailed-</strong></em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Mammon, come on. Please! I don’t know what’s going on with you at all, I just-” There was a choking noise, and all of Mammon’s thoughts disintegrated as he watched his brother’s face melt with ugly tears. This was the fourth time today he had made someone cry, but something about this made Mammon’s mind shut down completely. Levi’s hands slipped from where they had been trying to pry his own off his scalp, and instead fell down his shoulders until one flopped limp at his side, but the other caught itself in the fabric of his shirt. Levi’s head ducked just under Mammon’s chin and he struggled to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“I just don’t know what to do and I feel like it’s all my fault! I’m the one who always called you a scumbag! I’m the one who was always accusing you stealing and being mean to you and now Asmo says you tried to drown yourself and Satan comes out of here carrying all these pills cause he’s worried you’re going to take all of them and this morning you just- You just came home beaten up and then broke down when Lucifer yelled at you and you wouldn’t let us touch you and I didn’t know what to <em>do </em>because you wouldn’t let us <em>touch you </em>at all! It was MC who had to help you and tell us what to do and they’ve only known you a few months and I just-”</p><p> </p><p>His voice shattered into a scream as he started pounding his fist on Mammon’s chest, more tears and snot dripping down his face into his jacket and Mammon just stood dumbfounded, taking every hit. Eventually, Belphie came up to try and pry Levi away, but he fought against him, and lunged for Mammon, grabbing his arms and shaking him violently as an unreadable emotion rippled across his face.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t anger... like Lucifer this morning… or fear like with Asmo or Satan but-</p><p> </p><p>“I’m your brother! It’s not fair that someone else is so close to you that they can help you and I can’t!”</p><p> </p><p><em>Ah, </em>a distant part of Mammon’s mind began to register as he was shoved back in Beelzebub’s broad chest, Levi collapsing in Belphegor’s arms as he was finally yanked away. <em>It was envy he was feeling.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>He was jealous that MC had more of Mammon than he did. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“We all feel the same,” Belphegor whispered, looking at him from underneath his bangs, “We weren’t forced into being nice to you, or whatever you’re thinking in that head of yours. They just convinced us that it was the right thing to do. And…”</p><p> </p><p>Belphegor kept one arm around Levi to ensure he wouldn’t collapse on him, and reached out with his other to just tap Mammon. His pillow had long since fallen to the floor, and as he stepped forward, he accidentally kicked it against Mammon’s feet.</p><p> </p><p>“Your pillow,” Mammon said, bending down to pick it up, dodging out of the way of Belphie’s touch, “You dropped it-”</p><p> </p><p>Belphie leaned forward and grasped his wrist, making him look up at him as he leaned down to be face to face with him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not important. You are though.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon felt something in him snap at that, perhaps the invisible string he had thought he saw with Belphie earlier.</p><p> </p><p>“O-oh… Really?” Was all he could get out, and Mammon cursed himself for sounding so pathetic. Beelzebub draped himself over Mammon, letting his chin rest on the top of his head as he slumped over his back, his heavy arms swinging at his sides until he brought them up to wrap loosely around his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, really,” Belphegor said, grabbing a hold of Mammon’s shirt as he started to pull him back towards the bed, “Now, I’m tired. We’re all going back to sleep. Satan and Asmo can wake us when food’s ready, but you woke me up and then you had another meltdown and made Levi have a meltdown so I think we all need a nap.”</p><p> </p><p>He dragged the three of them around the staircase back to the bed, and with ease threw Levi and Mammon onto the sheets. He didn’t even try to pick up Beelzebub, but instead after pointing to the side he wanted to be on, let the other scoop him up and chuck him to the left side of the bed, nearly landing on Mammon when he landed. Immediately, they moved to retake their position they had been in before, but Levi moved up so he was directly resting on Mammon’s stomach and Belphegor just forced Mammon to rearrange his arms so he could be his pillow.</p><p> </p><p>Beelzebub was the last to get in, waiting until Mammon had finished yelling at them all for crushing him before he slipped under the sheets and disrupted the world order, decided to sit up against the headboard and tug everyone into his lap. This meant Mammon was now walled in on all sides by his brothers’ and was likely not escaping anytime soon.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, Beel, you could lay down you know,” Mammon mumbled, leaning away from the brother in question as Belphegor grumbled at Levi to shut up because he was still sniffling too loud.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine like this. When we watched TSL with MC, you fell asleep like this a lot. They said you must like it when you are held when falling asleep.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon blushed at that, and began to protest, but then Beel gave him the brightest smile he had seen, “Besides, after Lilith died, you held Belphie and I like this too.”</p><p> </p><p>Mammon remembered now. When they had all fallen down and the sky had sealed shut, once the world was quiet and as Lucifer raged, Mammon had tended to the twins. They were in shambles, sobbing over their loss, and Mammon could do nothing but walk up behind them and pull them both close. His wings had burned off in their descent, and while in time they would be replaced with featherless, black wings that could stretch over them and protect them from the ash rain that poured down on them, for now his hands were all he had. With a hand on each head and his weight draped over and around them, he had said nothing, and just hoped that holding them close and shielding them from the rain that scarred their skin, it would be enough.</p><p> </p><p>He settled back against Beel, a soft “O-oh, well then…” falling from his lips as he folded his arms, but then took one look at the sleeping Belphie and Levi resting on his lap, and with a sigh, reached down and began to pat their heads softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll wake you when Satan says food is ready,” Beel said. Mammon smirked, and tilted his head against Beel’s chest, and shut his eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>He had never felt so warm.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Some thoughts I wanted to share: </p><p>So, when I was writing this fic, I kept analyzing all the photos of the House because I refused to get something incorrect. I became obsessed with Mammon's stupid car and wondered how he got it up there or in the house in the first place. (it's like one of those cars you see in malls but you don't understand as a kid how it got there!) Second, I had to include Lucifer getting punched because the initial post that inspired this fic had the reaction image for MC winding up for a punch, so I felt I needed to be as true to that as possible. Third, I'm only just starting Lesson 7 in the game, so I still feel unsure about writing characters like Asmo and Belphie. How I portrayed Asmo in this chapter was definitely influenced by <a href="https://thebluestmage.tumblr.com/post/190863060854">this artwork</a> I saw when I started playing, and my 4 AM realization that all the demon bros are just the Osomatsu-san brothers but more mature. (This is probably why I like Mammon so much. He's just Karamatsu but superior) </p><p>And lastly, when I first started planning this fic, the Asmo and the Satan scene were my first two ideas, so I apologize for not giving the other three an individual scene. I got burned out after I spent all my emotions on Satan's scene...</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed this fic though and will continue reading for chapter 3! I've actually debated about writing a short bonus epilogue chapter afterwards, but we'll have to see! Maybe if someone can guess where the fic's title is from, I'll do it, lol. (It's honestly a stupid origin for such a serious fic, but very Mammon.) You can send me things at my <a href="https://polandspringz.tumblr.com/ask">tumblr inbox</a> and also if you helped spread the fic whenever I post it there it would mean a lot to me!!! Now, let's all look forward to chapter 3-</p><p>We still have one brother left to talk to, after all...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We still have one brother left to visit...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I added the Lucifer/MC tag because even though Lucifer isn't my favorite, at several points during this chapter I felt like I was two seconds away from jumping genres and diving into a romance fic. You'll probably see that tension as well, but for Mammon's sake, I resisted. We have more important things to deal with, after all. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Lucifer, I know you’re in there,” the walls of the hallway shook as MC pounded their fist against the heavy, locked door of the eldest demon’s office, “Again, I don’t care if you’re busy, this is more important! Let me in already before I tear the door off its hinges.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was the fifth time they had tried to get the man in question to open up and let them inside, not that they were keeping track. Their previous attempts had been brief and less demanding, as Mammon had been moving about at the time and it was better that Lucifer stayed hidden, lest he say something <em>worse. </em>They had given small knocks and called out, saying they simply wanted to <em>talk, </em>but were always distracted just as quickly by another crisis. It wasn’t just Mammon that had been affected by the incident, which MC learned the moment Lucifer locked himself away and they became temporarily in-charge of the somber household. Although the brothers had been ecstatic to do things to help Mammon feel better, those who were not with the second eldest were moping around, drained of life or returned from their interactions with reddened eyes and required more comfort for whatever had transpired than MC had the energy to give.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Asmo was practically hysteric when Satan dragged him down to MC to help with preparing lunch for the rest of the house, a plastic bag full of glass shards that <em>wasn’t </em>from the vase in the entranceway they had just cleaned up this morning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before they could even get a word in, Asmo was hugging  and squeezing the life out of them as they sobbed about what had happened. Satan stormed off rather quickly, telling them that he was going to watch over Mammon in case he tried anything stupid again, but an hour later when MC decided to check in on the two of them, they discovered Satan similarly teary-eyed and raiding Mammon’s medicine cabinet. They sent the remaining three in all at once because they could not deal with three separate new crisises.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At least the brothers had realized by that point it was a little unfair the amount of household management they were tasking MC with. MC had already joked before to Diavolo that the exchange program was more like therapist student teaching, and while they were unsure about whether that comment ever made it back to Lucifer or the brothers, they were relieved that after spending part of the day cleaning and scrubbing the floors and the stains out of Mammon’s clothes Satan had stepped in. He offered to take over dinner preparation for the night, and told them to relax for a bit. Not that they did that, as the moment they walked past that office door on the way to their bed, they found themselves frustrated beyond belief.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Had he really been in there all day? </em>They clenched their fists as they wound up for another rainstorm of knocking. Their threat wasn’t empty, they <em>would </em>tear the door off if he kept this ignoring them, but they really didn’t have the strength to do it, so they would need to get themselves a bit more heated and then maybe they could summon some celestial power that had been suppressed or they would just get Satan to do it. Lord knows he would jump at the chance to kick down Lucifer’s only solace and-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, you could just use the pact and <em>order </em>me to open the door. It would save you a lot of trouble, really,” Lucifer’s deep voice came from behind them, and MC put their hands on their hips and sighed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I may have used it this morning but that doesn’t mean I want to keep doing it! Besides, my wording of ‘let me in’ should have been enough to trigger-”</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Wait. Behind them?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>MC paused and pivoted around, coming face to face with a very <em>tired </em>looking Lucifer standing against the adjacent doorway. <em>His bedroom. He had been in his bedroom, not his office. This whole time they had been knocking on the wrong door. </em>He had gotten changed out of his RAD uniform while hiding away, now in his usual red vest and vampiric-like cape.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“Well, what is it?” He said, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he watched the human take a deep breath and proceed to scream into their hands. He was used to their odd behavior by now, and while it would normally be amusing, he had enough of the walls rattling and the shouting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t believe you,” they groaned, voice muffled by their hands, “If you heard me over here why didn’t you come out after the first few knocks!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was busy, like you said. But, you were correct. You did technically, accidentally, trigger our pact. Although for the wrong door. But, alas, I am now forced to let you in. Come.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He gestured towards his open bedroom, and MC hesitated a moment before awkwardly shuffling inside. It wasn’t the first time they had been in there, but each time was still terrifying. His office was clearly business, he wouldn’t do anything that would leave any of his pristine paperwork ruined or smudged with blood. His bedroom however…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC walked inside the darkness and realized it was <em>dark. </em>As in, even though it was the natural state for Devildom, Lucifer typically had a cycle in terms of how much artificial light he was using at a time. During the day it was the brightest, meant to keep all of them awake, but nighttime, especially this early, he at least would have had a few candles on the wall lit or <em>something. </em>The windows were covered and the fireplace was cold. Cautiously entering, it only took them a few steps before their leg slammed into something and they went flying, a yelp escaping them as their head soared straight towards-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nothing, luckily, as Lucifer swiftly stepped in and caught them before they collided. Demons had somewhat better vision attuned for the dark from living in Devildom for so long, but from the way he avoided their gaze as he righted them and brushed them off- and the quick way he walked towards the far end of the room so he could ignite the firewood with a snap of his fingers- it seemed like he was all too familiar with what dangers were littered around his room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And littered they were. As soon as the orange fire sprang to life, MC was confronted with the busted up, broken leg of the coffee table. It looked as if someone had kicked it upside down  before it was picked up and smashed over a knee, likely Lucifer’s. There were glass shards everywhere, the glittering smallest remnants spread over the carpet just where MC’s shoe ended, and they were very lucky they didn’t fall, because it would have meant some serious cuts. So, they were thankful that Lucifer stopped that from happening, but they also were pissed because this was the <em>third </em>shattered object they had encountered today, and knowing the track record of these boys <em>they </em>were going to be the one to clean it up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, Asmo had cleaned up the wine bottle, but MC was the one who had to go outside and put it in the recycling. And it was cold out. And they then had to fix up Asmo’s sliced up fingers, and put up with his incessant flirting when he had finally gotten over whatever had happened to get him so shaken up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In short, MC was done. Luckily, Lucifer seemed to want to cut things short too, because after lighting the fire, he glowered at them over his shoulder. No longer under the influence of their last order to be nice and let them inside, he made it very apparent they were <em>not welcome here. </em>His red eyes blazed in the firelight, and his mouth barely moved, yet his words were deep and biting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, what is it that you <em>need, </em>MC?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think you and I are both well aware of what I’m doing here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If this is going to turn into another lecture like this morning, then I suggest you leave. None of my brothers are here to protect you, and if you say something that <em>rude </em>again, you might find yourself without a head.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“True, but you wouldn’t kill me. Not really. The success of the exchange student program and your inability to fail Lord Diavolo would stop you before you landed the finishing blow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He grimaced, his lips curling back as his teeth flashed despite the frown. They were already on thin ice, it seemed, “Again, I suggest you choose your words carefully. I may not be in charge of wrath, but it was my anger that bore Satan. I can be just as deadly and destructive as him, if not more.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look, I’m not here to insult your pride,” they said, raising their hands in mock-surrender, “I’m just here because we’ve all been doing our best to make things right with Mammon. Levi, Beel, and Belphie are in with him right now. You’re the last one left. I’m <em>hoping </em>that since he’s been talking to them the whole day, he’ll be alright with seeing you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He scoffed, “He’s going to have to see me again eventually. I’m practically his keeper.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That attitude,” they said, “is the reason we’re in this situation in the first place.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC bent down and began to lightly brush their hand along the carpet, checking for how much glass there really was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I asked you to help Mammon to bed last night, and you said you would, but you obviously didn’t.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Again, if you wanted it done, you should’ve ordered me to do it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what would that have done? I woke up this morning to him having a panic attack because you said the <em>worst thing </em>to him. How would me having ordered you last night have solved anything? You would’ve done it, sure. But there’s no guarantee that what happened this morning wouldn’t have just happened in secret.You would’ve just attacked him mercilessly and he would’ve broken all the same, but you probably would’ve just beaten him into submission so he didn’t show any of it the next day. He was certainly trying not to show it when he woke up later.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I only lost my temper because he broke the vase. It was a gift from Diavolo many years ago.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So did you mean what you said then?” Their hand grazed closer to the surface of the carpet threads. They were far enough away from the large shards that all that was left to look for was how much of the tiny pieces there were. Vacuuming would do the job, but they didn’t want to accidentally suck up a bigger piece that could cut the bag open, “About losing the war, that was your honest belief?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you implying that I was lying? It’s obvious we didn’t win.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, but you know that wasn’t what I was asking. I simply don’t think that statement about Mammon’s role in it was fact. Do you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer’s hands tightened in the fabric of his sleeves from where they rested in the crook of his elbow on his folded up arms, “He <em>did </em>fight in it. That much is true.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This would all be much easier if you would stop feigning ignorance and just fess up to what I’m asking you. Did you or did you not mean what you said about him being the reason you lost?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer was silent. MC threw their hands up in the air in exasperation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really? You’re that much of a baby that you can’t answer my question? Mammon is more mature than you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As they went back to examining the glass, suddenly Lucifer’s shadow teleported beside them. The flash of red stood out against the darkness of the room, but it was when his wings stretched over top of them that they did notice the bloodlust in his eyes. He was looming over them, his hands shaking in rage as he took a step forward.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know I asked you this this morning, but <em>do you really wish to die that much? </em>You continue to press me until I’m at my limit. I will not have you-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As he charged forward with another step, MC leaned back, crawling away slightly. It was quite possible they were <em>screwed, </em>but the fear that took over them was interrupted by the feeling of pain slicing through their skin. They had set their hand behind them in their attempt to get away, and not looking where they were going, rested it right on top of one of the wayward larger pieces.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah, looks like this glass will kill me before you get the chance to,” they said, bringing their hand in front and covering up the wound over their wrist. Blood danced thin rivers down their arm and dripped quickly onto their clothing. <em>Better than Lucifer’s rug, </em>they mused, smiling weakly up at the intimidating man, <em>who knows, that might be a gift from Diavolo too.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Lucifer’s eyes continued to burn for a moment longer, but confusion settled in them as his mind seemed to clear at the sight of the blood. With a sigh and a flash, the wings were retracting and the horns were gone. Shutting his eyes as frustration continued to ripple across his face, warring with all the other conflicts in his head, he got down on one knee and pulled their arm towards him, examining the injury.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t do that! You’ll get glass in you like I just did,” they said as he knelt down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll be fine. You are more important than some scratch.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They frowned, “And Mammon isn’t?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer closed his eyes again and sighed before he tugged them to their feet, practically tossing them towards his bed as he waltzed towards his bathroom, fishing around inside before returning with a medical kit. He sat beside them on the edge of the bed and gestured for them to offer their hand to him, carefully beginning to clean it with an alcohol cloth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC broke the silence, “I don’t understand why you can’t just answer me. Do you or do you not believe what you said this morning? Do you honestly blame Mammon for Lilith’s death?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer reached for another item inside the kit’s case, returning to begin wrapping their wrist in gauze, “Speaking factual, since that is what you have decided to argue, then... “ he sighed again, the puff of air blowing some of his bangs up before they fell back, disheveled, “No. It is incorrect that he was the one who caused her death.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were the one who decided to argue facts. I’m asking what <em>you </em>think. Can’t you tell me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you’re still not talking from your heart.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Frankly, MC, I would’ve thought you were smart enough from your time living here to know that the <em>Avatar of Pride </em>would never surrender his heart so willingly,” he said, tieing off the bandage and standing up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So it’s your pride then? Your shitty pride is what’s preventing you from owning up and apologizing? Is your pride also what caused you to wreck your coffee table?” They said as Lucifer walked back over to stand before the fireplace. He barely turned his head to look at them when he replied.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That should stay the bleeding. You were foolish for trying to pick up glass with your bare hands.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was your fault I cut myself in the first place, but I doubt your <em>pride,” </em>they emphasized with air quotes, “would let you take the blame for even that. I’ve been dealing with your brothers all day, so let’s just say I was tired and acting stupid, and blame it on me. You know, they’ve all been handling what happened just as bad as Mammon did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was hard to discern through the darkness, but MC thought they saw Lucifer flinch at that. His voice had tightness to it, if they didn’t know any better, they would have mistaken it for concern.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you telling me they all had meltdowns too?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I mean, it wasn’t <em>that </em>bad, but it was <em>bad. </em>Asmo helped Mammon wash up but came out of his room crying because apparently Mammon tried to drown himself. That set another one off and they were convinced Mammon was going to try and overdose himself on pills. I sent the rest of them in together because I figured if they all came out with the same intrusive thought, I could <em>maybe </em>handle it better than if I was losing my patience by the fourth one.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Which one was it that got worried about the pills? Levi, I presume?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC paused, torn between whether they should betray Satan’s trust in them- <em>while he had been visibly upset in front of the others, he had only cried in front of them when they were alone. Whether he had cried in front of Mammon or not, they were unsure- </em>but Lucifer seemed <em>interested. </em>Perhaps hearing his biggest antagonist was this disturbed by his actions would be the tipping point.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was Satan, actually,” they stated, “Satan was crying because he thought Mammon was going to kill himself because of what you said.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It appears my family has been torn up quite badly by my hand,” he said with a laugh. It was merely another breath though, another sigh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC carefully pushed themselves off of the bed, walking slowly over to the demon. They could see his face again. In the dim light of the fire, his pursed lips were twitching, switching between something true and something false. They stopped about a foot away from him, watching as he tried to mask that <em>true </em>feeling that crossed him with that cool, aloof facade.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you don’t believe what you said to be true, then why did you say it? Why do you continue to not own up to what you did?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your family is falling apart. Do you wish to see that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon is hurting. He told me what happened to him this week.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“All of you have had a part to play in this. This is not a wound that just… happens so fast. I know your brothers bullied him more than you, but you were the one who set him off. You said something unthinkable, so despicable. He was already in a terrible headspace because of the drugs, the alcohol, the…” they squeezed their eyes shut and grimaced at the memory of what he had confessed to, “<em>the fact that he was assaulted. </em>I don’t think he could have been in any worse a place to hear you say such things to him, but that doesn’t mean it would’ve been right to do any other time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC already knew they were just going to be answered with silence. But still, they were starting to get <em>pissed. </em>They kept their head bowed, and stared at the space between them, seething despite the coolness of their tone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Even though you singled out Mammon, I don’t think you realize that you hurt <em>all your brothers. </em>I already knew Beel thought he was responsible for what happened to Lilith. He told me when I stayed in his room the first time… The words you spoke, I think they all were floating around in the back of everyone’s minds. I think they all believed that they were the one at fault, but none of them blamed each other, and that was what kept them safe.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>They could shoulder their own suffering, but they all knew the moment they blamed another, it would lead to their family’s demise. It would cause more fighting, more death. They already had so little to hold onto. They may be demons, but they were anything but cruel. MC knew that they still retained their kind-hearts that they had been built with as angels.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“But… now you’ve upset the balance. Worse than blaming themselves, the more real fear was that you, their <em>brother, </em>blamed them all along. And now they know that fear to be true. Even if you tell me it’s not, they won’t know that it was just said in anger, because to them, your word is law. They may pretend to hate you, and get on your nerves, but they’re your family, and they love you, I know it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC felt themselves trembling. They were trying not to cry, but their shoulders were already shaking so much as they thought about how Levi had nervously stuck to their side the whole day, how Belphie had quietly wrapped himself around them while they were cleaning up the vase, how Beel walked straight past the fridge and instead rested his head on their shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>How they all had begun to shudder silently with grief, how each of them had begged with a quivering voice a single word-</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Please…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“But now they know that one of them is at fault for her death, for the failure to win. Now… they’re all torn up inside…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Am I exempt from that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC lifted their head as tears streamed down their cheeks, eyes widening when they saw Lucifer’s own face. It must be a curse of his demonhood, because MC had never seen such pain in the face of human who was <em>smiling.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“Am I exempt from that belief? Do you not think I have toiled with that thought too for centuries? <em>I </em>was the one who turned against Father. <em>I </em>was the one who started the war. And look what it has reaped me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His hand gestured out to his side, into the darkness of the corner of the room, and then swept past MC towards the shattered table that was still upturned and in a heap. Splinters that had been cracked loose but not fallen off danced with gravity, swaying back and forth as they threatened to finally break free from the wooden legs they once were.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer, the pillar of the family, wasn’t crying. But from how much his voice was collapsing, he may as well have been screaming to the heavens again. MC hiccuped as they tried to suppress their sobs, whispering out from behind their fingers that pressed against their lips-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon is hurting.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You need to apologize.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I cannot. My pride will not let me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer started to walk towards the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want to continue to suffer like this? I can see it in you, you’re being eaten up inside too! Apologizing won’t magically fix things, I know that! But it’s a start!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer knelt down and examined the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I told Lord Diavolo that I would fix this by tomorrow,” they continued, “We are going to figure out a way to put a bandage on this, so we can at least all have a normal tomorrow!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Putting a bandage on emotions that have been stewing for millennials won’t work, and you know that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know, but you’re too stubborn to even try!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer played with one of the splinters in between his fingers, “You know, I have been deliberating this all day, and did think of a solution to all this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He broke the splinter off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“By myself, I cannot apologize. It is beneath me… to admit to having been wrong, to even entertain the idea makes my blood boil. That’s what caused <em>this,” </em>he stood up and walked back over to MC, eyes locked on the thin wooden pick between his fingers, “But, if you use your pact on me, I will be <em>forced </em>to do it, whether I want to or not. You could force me to open up, you <em>could have</em> forced me to admit that I was wrong here this whole time, but you didn’t. You still have a chance though, we haven’t seen Mammon yet. Simply give me the command and you can solve this whole ordeal, and we can go back to normal tomorrow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He held out the piece of wood to them, almost as if offering. MC shook their head violently, their hair fanning around them as they pulled their hands down to their sides.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought about that too, but it’s wrong. A forced apology will be pointless. Mammon will believe we tricked him, it would have the wrong effect.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then nothing will happen. I cannot be swayed to do something that would put my pride so beneath me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that, MC surged forward and grabbed Lucifer by his arms, clinging to him as they were overwhelmed with emotion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t you understand? It has to come from you! You have to be the one to fix it!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But as I said I-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t care about your pride! If you were smart then you would realize that you are blind to what it really is! You’re pride isn’t self-centered, you just pretend it is. I’ve seen how you look at your brothers, how you monitor their activities and lives so devotedly. I saw it last night, when Mammon didn’t come home, you were awake until you had to lock the door for my own safety. You care about them. You value them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer froze as they moved closer, the splinter falling from his hand to the carpet as they reached further up his arms, fisting their hands in his collar as they dragged him closer to them and shook him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Haven’t you ever heard someone call someone else their pride and joy? That’s you with your brothers! They’re your family, so if you take pride in them, then you should take pride in apologizing and being the one to keep it together!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The last syllable of their shout echoed in the dark room, fading out eventually until only the crackle of the fire could be heard. Lucifer stared at the human in awe, watching as a more powerful spark burned in their eye, fizzling out when exhaustion hit them and their knees buckled. He caught them around the arms, supporting them until they found their footing again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gently, he pressed his hand to the back of their head, and nudged them to rest against his breast.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, it will be a shame when you have to return to your home. You are part of my pride and joy too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC tugged softly at Lucifer’s vest, their voice hoarse now that they had finished, “This is my home though. I don’t want to go home. I’m scared about what will happen to you all if I leave you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I promise you, that by the time you finish your time here at Devildom, you will want to be rid of us. Although…” and Lucifer carefully walked them towards his bed, keeping his hand on their head as his arm tucked them under his cape, “I’m certain you will have had enough of an impact on all of that we will manage in your absence. This alone is a testament to that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He guided them to sit down, and then undid his cape and laid it over them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rest. You’ve exhausted yourself taking care of us today. I will bring dinner to you when it is ready.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He moved towards the door, but a hand shot out and stopped him. MC was looking at him, still crying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want to eat dinner with everyone,” they mumbled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then we will all eat in Mammon’s room, after I handle this whole ordeal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They looked at him with wonder, and he smiled, reaching out to pat their head softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I promise I will not let you down. My pride would not allow such a thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer found Mammon’s door guarded by Satan, the <em>last </em>person who he wanted to see at the moment as he embarked on this already painful mission. As he approached, he already felt his <em>venomous pride, </em>the self-centered, evil part that MC had just quieted, flaring up again. The thought of having Satan of all people know that he was here to apologize, it made him want to turn on his heel and march back to his room, locking himself in solitude for another day and maybe smash another piece of furniture in the process.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He trudged onward though, stopping when Satan’s green eyes sliced across the candlelight glow of the hallway and finally settled on him, a piercing gaze. His younger brother pushed  himself off of the wall beside the door, turning to face him with a similar cutting tongue.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what are you doing here?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am here to speak to Mammon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And you really think I’ll let you in that easily? He’s already on edge enough. We’ve been trying all day to get him to calm down. We don’t need you going in and reversing all our work.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“From what I’ve been told, it seems that MC has been working hard at getting you <em>all </em>to calm down.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anger flashed behind Satan’s eyes, and he surged towards Lucifer, hand about to grasp at Lucifer’s lapel as the other hand raised for a punch-</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“Why you-! </em>Where do you get off acting smug even after all you’ve done-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And you are right. It is because of what I have done that you are all like this. Forgive me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sidestepped Satan’s punch, although it quickly lost its momentum when those words were spoken. Satan’s face fell in surprise as Lucifer slipped out of his hold and strode past him, his hand coming up to pat the blonde’s shoulder awkwardly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to speak to Mammon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer reached for the doorknob, but Satan caught his hand before he could turn it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait!  Hold on, just- Ugh! Give me a second,” Satan rubbed his tired face with his other hand before dragging Lucifer back a bit, cracking the door open enough to slip inside and call, “Everybody out. Dinner will be ready soon,” to which a chorus of groans <em>(and one cheer from Beel) </em>sounded, but movement could be heard all the same. Satan stepped back outside as the occupants inside gathered their belongings, turning back to address Lucifer, although his eyes skirted along the carpet at their feet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Asmo took over cooking for me. We heard MC and you arguing, and I had a feeling one of you would end up storming back to Mammon, although I had expected it to be MC. He switched positions with me for damage control. I’m glad I was here though, because it means-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beel was the first to exit the room, the smile on his face falling the moment he spotted his older brother. As Leviathan and Belphie ducked under his arm to sneak out through the door, Beel called back inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You should stay here Mammon. We’ll bring your food up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Belphie’s eyes landed on Lucifer, and although his expression quickly crumpled into anger, he put on a smile as he leaned his head into the light coming through the open door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, we’ll all come eat up here together. You won’t be alone for long.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Leviathan meanwhile shifted into his full demon form, his horns growing out from his head as his body shivered with steam from his growing rage billowing off of him. His tail lashed out behind him, and the brothers took up a formation from behind Satan. It was at that moment, that Asmo ascended the stairs, and started to yell-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey guys! Food’s- <em>Oh.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>There was a flash and then Asmo was transformed too, the pink tails of his vest trailing behind him as his heels clicked against the floor, fading when he settled onto the carpet behind the rest of his family. Belphegor closed the door before he too was baring his horns. His tail was the only one to actively reach out and curl around Lucifer’s ankle. It was loose, but in warning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beel was the last to transform, but the first to speak. He glowered at his brother, and despite him being the only one who could match Lucifer’s height, Lucifer felt as though he was a mere ant under his gaze.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you want with Mammon?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer stared at his brothers for a moment. <em>His family, </em>they all were like cobras, poised to strike the moment he spoke. The wrong word, the wrong move, and they would eat him alive. This wasn’t right. Although they got on each other’s nerves, there was never hatred radiating off them like this, never this intense. And it wasn’t just because the rift was between <em>him and them, </em>no-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>There was someone missing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>He scanned them again before resigning himself to answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Mammon.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>I need to see you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“I want to apologize to him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Like with Satan, he felt their surprise before he saw it. Belphie’s tail thrashed in surprise around his ankle, the bloodlust from their gazes vanished in a snap, and when he opened his eyes, all of them were just <em>staring </em>at him. Satan was the only one relatively more put together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>You’re going to need to tell them more than that, </em>was what the smug grin said, but he could see the happiness in his eyes. <em>Go on. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I… I need to apologize to you all first though. I was… completely out of line this morning. I realize that what I said unburied things we all agreed not to discuss and… I’m sorry I have left you all alone today to deal with it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was silence. Lucifer hadn’t realized it, but he had turned his eyes to the floor too. Torn between his pride banging around inside his chest, and the shame choking him from <em>lowering himself </em>to such a statement-</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>No, you’re not lowering yourself, h</em>e had to remind himself, <em>this is for your family. If you don’t do this, you’ll lose all you have left.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“I ask you to… forgive me. I have much more to say to you, but… I need to speak to Mammon first. He is the one who deserves to hear it the most.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright then,” Belphie tail recoiled and with a poof he was back to his normal self, “we’ll talk about this later.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“B-Belphie?” Levi sputtered, “Are you just going to let him off that easily?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I mean, I’m sure MC had something to do with this, but if Satan isn’t pissed, then I’m going to trust that there’s more going on than we know. Besides, I’m tired,” and with that, Belphegor began to weave through the crowd and towards the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Belphegor…” Lucifer whispered, the weight on his chest lessening as he began to smile at his youngest brother.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ve had a lot between us, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look this torn up over something. Not even when I got out of the attic, so I think he’s being sincere. But,” he paused at the top of the stairs, “I’m sure he knows that if those words were <em>fake, </em>he won’t be returning to Diavolo’s side alive tomorrow.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With that, Belphie turned and walked down the stairs. Beel looked between his twin’s fleeting figure and Lucifer, before he gave a grunt and a nod and grabbed ahold of Levi, who let out an undignified squawk, and dragged him away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let’s go eat. We said we would bring Mammon back food. Lucifer has to finish his apology by <em>then.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>He tacked on that last bit, giving a glance over his shoulder as a warning. <em>A time limit, </em>Lucifer realized, <em>if things weren’t good by the time they got back, then he would be dead. </em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>If he decided to go back on his word and did as Satan originally thought he would, beating Mammon or hurting him worse to reverse whatever they had been doing to comfort the second oldest, then he would be a dead man. He may have been the most powerful of the brothers, but with their combined strength, especially in a fit of emotion, it would be enough to silence him. Even his fight with Belphie at the start of this year was enough to strain him. He had no doubt that they were serious about the fact that this was his <em>only chance.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Not that he planned on messing it up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Asmo eyed him up and down, and then with his usual sweet-talking voice, he said, “Oh my. I never would have pegged you for the type to get so torn up over something like this. You look terrible.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His smirk belied his true nature though. He was <em>happy </em>to see Lucifer a wreck, his hair mussed and his clothes ruffled. Asmo was incredibly good at reading people’s bodies, and he likely could see the roughness off his hands, the way the skin had been damaged by his rampage on the table earlier. In his haste to get back to normalcy, he had forgotten to put on his gloves. He suddenly felt vulnerable under his stare, but he forced himself to stay strong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t I get upset? You are my family. I don’t want to see anything happen to you. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer pushed the fourth and fifth brothers aside, gently turning the knob and slipping inside. As he disappeared, he missed the way Asmo collapsed against Satan, who merely placed a guiding hand on him as he turned them around towards the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“Let’s go eat,” </em>he said, but paused at the top of the stairs when he saw Belphegor and Levi, huddled on one of the steps. Beelzebub was stopped too, standing over his brothers as he tried to convince them to move to the dining room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“He can’t just say stuff like that…” </em>Belphegor hissed out, biting his nail as he clutched his pillow, <em>“He can’t just say that and not expect me to-”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>“Belphie,” </em>Levi put an arm over the younger brother and tugged him close, the two of them falling over and sitting on the steps in a heap, <em>“MC will help us if things don’t work out. Like you said, we’ll handle it.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>“He won’t hurt Mammon. Not again,” </em>Beel said, leaning over and scooping Belphie up in his arms, <em>“Now, let’s go eat. We need to bring food back for Mammon.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>The five of them descended the stairs to the main floor, walking past the empty pedestal where a vase had been this morning, past the shadows that still held the memory of the screams and shouts that had shattered it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh hey! You guys are back already? What did you bring me-” Mammon’s cheerful voice dropped off the moment he saw who was standing by his bedroom door. He had been about to jump out of bed, but froze when he made eye contact with his brother.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon-” Lucifer started, rushing over to him, afraid he would run, but to his pain, Mammon didn’t move. He was completely still, his eyes wide with shock as he clutched the blankets that were strewn around him, his legs dangling as he sat on the edge. He refused to meet Lucifer’s gaze, even as he stood right in front of him</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh… hey, Lucifer… Did you need something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon, I’ve-” Lucifer’s hands were hovering on either side of Mammon, knowing that he should <em>definitely not touch him right now </em>but more than anything he wanted to unfreeze him, just grip his shoulders and feel the life underneath him, instead of the motionless, terrified figure that was curling in on itself under his shadow. Lucifer hated this, feeling like he was swallowing him up. He didn’t want that. That wasn’t <em>what he came to do, </em>“I’ve come to apologize to you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that, Mammon’s eyes shot open impossibly wider, and he somehow jumped out of Lucifer’s arms without brushing against them once. He was backing away towards the staircase, “Bro, you don’t really have to do that. I know… I know what you said was true so-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It wasn’t true!” Lucifer shouted, “I got overwhelmed and I said irrational things. Please, let me make it up to you-” he reached for Mammon’s hand, feeling desperate as his brother tried to escape him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t have to make anything up! Really! I get it! I’m a screw up, okay? We can just-” he dashed away up the stairs, avoiding Lucifer’s worried gaze as he clung to the railing, “MC put this up to you right? You can tell them that I appreciate it, but it’s not necessary. I promise, I’ll try to stay out of your way. I’ll even move to Purgatory Hall, if that will make things better!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>No, that’s not what I want. You’re not listening.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Lucifer followed him up the stairs, running after him as Mammon ducked behind the car. He had begged Lucifer to help him fit it in his room years ago, when he first bought it. <em>That was a simpler time. Mammon had always been in debt, but when cars had gotten popular in the human world, Mammon had gotten into a stroke of luck and was able to purchase the whole thing without any dues hanging over his head.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Then again, didn’t he buy it as a gift for Lucifer? Ah yes, that was it, but Lucifer had rejected it. He thought it was pointless. Then Mammon asked him to help move it inside his room, boasting that since he bought it, it was technically his, and he promised to take care of it since Lucifer didn’t want it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Lucifer felt silly now, rounding the car as Mammon circled the other side like a cornered animal, opening one of the doors and diving inside when he got too close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon, wait! No, that’s not what I-! Mammon!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was the distinctive noise of the car locking as Mammon huddled in the backseat, pulling his knees to his chest as he tucked his head away from sight. Lucifer thought briefly about breaking open the door, it would be easy to tear it off the hinges with or without his demonic form active. But, the way Mammon was curled up… it looked so similar to this morning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer let his hands slip off the car window, his body rocketing with tremors as he ran his fingers through his hair. <em>Ah, I’ve already screwed it up. This is the exact situation I did not want.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“Mammon, you can… you can stay in there. Please, just listen to me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon was silent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I did talk to MC about this, but I assure you, I am not under the influence of our pact or anything. I actually had suggested they use it, but they refused. They… they managed to convince me that if I had any pride, I would be able to apologize on my own... That human,” he laughed weakly, “they truly are a powerful force to be reckoned with.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He turned around, and leaned his back against the car, arching his head back to stare at the lights on the ceiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But then again, they’re a descendant of Lilith, right? We should expect nothing less. But, even without that in their bloodline, I’ve learned through this exchange program that humans are truly remarkable beings. Solomon might be the exception to that though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon… about what I said this morning. It was wrong of me to pin the blame on you. I want you to know that I’ve never before even thought that any of you, not you or your brothers, were at fault for what happened that day. MC enlightened me that Beel has been thinking that for quite a while, and so I suppose I’ll have to have a talk with him about this too. With all of you, I plan to, I swear… What I said today was in anger. It had no meaning, it was not my true thoughts. But, I know regardless that they hurt you. Which is why…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His adam's apple bobbed as his throat tightened up, and Lucifer reached up to draw a hand down his mouth to stifle the tremors. It was easier like this, with Mammon silent in the car, he could almost imagine he was by himself. He didn’t have to hold back, he could be vulnerable. He could surrender his-</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>No, you don’t have to surrender anything, </em>he could practically hear MC’s voice whispering to him, <em>you should be proud of these feelings. They mean you love your family. That you’re proud to love them.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>It sounded like Lilith too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want you to know that I am so sorry, and that… the person that I have always truly believed to be responsible for Lilith’s death… is me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer shut his eyes and felt the hot stinging sensation of tears pouring from the corners of them. They clumped his lashes together and made it difficult for him to open his eyes again, his vision blurry as the white lights blended together into white rings overhead. <em>Like halos, </em>he mused. If he didn’t know any better, he would think he was back in the Celestial Realm, at his Father’s feet as he repented for his sins.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was the one who started the rebellion. I was the one who dragged you all into it. If anyone is directly to blame for Lilith’s death, you just follow the chain of events… It’s me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I... also wanted to apologize for what else I said. Although it may be trivial to what I said at the end of it all, I know it hurt you all the same. When I said… I was embarrassed around Lord Diavolo because of you, the truth is more complicated than that. I’m sworn to his side, you all know this, but that does not mean he is sworn to protect me, or you for that matter. I know you and the others joke that he seems lax in his responsibility, but I tremble with the thought of the day he decides to get serious again. When I see you fooling around and react so harshly, I also see Lord Diavolo’s patience wearing thin. Truthfully, I am scared that one day he won’t let me step in to correct you, and will smite you and take you from me too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer’s voice was practically broken, the shred of control he had reined it with now snapping as he sunk to his knees against the car. Thoughts of Mammon being killed before him, tortured even, as a testament to Diavolo’s power, of another brother swearing allegiance to Diavolo in order to save another one, getting locked in the same prison Lucifer himself had been in for centuries, it made him break.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His hands came up to clutch at his scalp, and he found all the remaining words he wanted to say swallowed up by his shuddering breath. He didn’t even know he had been pulling at his hair until two hands came up to lift them away and bring them back down to his sides. And then Lucifer was looking up, and Mammon was there. He must have gotten out of the car on the other side and come around the front where Lucifer couldn’t see him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon was crying too, his lips quivering as he took in the sight of his older brother, and he brushed his thumb over the tears on his cheek before he spoke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t believe what you said,” and fear struck Lucifer’s heart, wondering <em>how much more, how much more in me do I have to give to make him believe me, to forgive me? </em>But then Mammon continued, “until I saw you like this. I don’t think I would have ever believed you weren’t under some spell by the human if I didn’t get to see <em>this.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>He emphasized by wiping one tear away, the water from it reflecting in the light on Mammon’s thumb.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You haven’t cried since Lilith. No one could make you cry like that, not even Lord Diavolo.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Except for you,” Lucifer laughed, his voice sputtering out into a cough as another sob worked its way out of his throat. Mammon let out a chuckle at the sight through his own tears, and accepted Lucifer’s embrace, reaching forward and letting Lucifer sob into his shoulder. Mammon had thought he had cried himself dry after talking to Levi, but nothing could have prepared him for the swelling in his chest when he stepped out of the car and saw his brother at his feet, broken and almost in the same position he was this morning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am sort of tempted to call the rest of them in here. I’m sure they would get a kick out of seeing you like this, all weepy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They already got a glimpse of it. They cornered me outside. I had to run in here before I started crying. I knew only you could see me like this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why?” Mammon asked, pausing from rubbing Lucifer’s back to glance down at him as the older brother pulled away from his chest. A smile creeped onto his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because, now when you try and tell them, <em>they’ll never believe you.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Mammon let out a scoff and pushed away, reaching in the pocket of his sweatpants for his phone, “Alright then, that’s it, I’m taking a photo.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t you dare-” Lucifer growled, shoving the phone away and knocking it to the floor, frantically scrubbing his face with his sleeve as he did so.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey! Be careful, I don’t have the money to replace that if it breaks!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll buy you a new one. I want to know what’s going on the next time you go out to a club or something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that, Mammon paused in his floundering for the D.D.D. and looked at Lucifer before shame covered his features. He scooted back a bit, his voice shakey again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, so MC told you about that too?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon, if I had known-” he stopped and cursed himself, “No, even I had known I probably would’ve still been an ass to you this morning. Again, I’m sorry for how I behaved but, I’m hoping that you will trust me enough to give me <em>and </em>Satan the names and appearances of these demons so that we can correct things.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you sure you want to bring Satan with you for that? If you’re trying to handle it all officially, he’ll ruin your plan. He already promised to kill them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh? So he already knows who they are? Very well then, that will save us some time. I will go through the proper channels, but I’ll be sure to join him in making sure they never walk again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t have to do all this for me,” Mammon said, “It’s enough that you apologized. I don’t need anything else.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon, it’s not enough. It should never be enough after what I said to you. It’s unforgivable.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, it’s not. I don’t like seeing you like this,” Mammon said insistently, “It bugs me to see you so unlike yourself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And here you were a second ago wanting to take a photo of me in this state?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s because it was funny then. Now, it’s just sad.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have every right to be sad. I almost destroyed my family with my own hand. I should feel sad for an eternity.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, no, enough of that,” Mammon tugged him up by his wrist, “I don’t deserve all this sappy shit. I’m hungry. Let’s go eat dinner already. The others are waiting.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, Mammon, wait. What do you mean you don’t deserve this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were at the top of the stairs now, and Mammon wouldn’t meet his gaze. Muttering out the side of his mouth, he whispered so quietly that Lucifer had to lean in to even catch the end of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well… I mean, you know… I’ve always been the screw up, right? So, it doesn’t make sense for you to grovel for forgiveness from the guy who's always up to his neck in credit card debt and bills and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer placed his hand on Mammon’s head, rustling his hair. Mammon turned to him just in time to catch his brother smiling, a genuine, heartfelt smile without any traces of smug or mirth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you talking about, Mammon? You’re my pride and joy. Of course you deserve this. Now, come on, let’s go eat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer walked passed him to the stairs, reaching the bottom in no time while Mammon remained frozen at the top. Slipping his hands into his pockets, he turned back to admire the shellshocked state of his brother, now that it was not one painted with fear and panic, and instead absolute disbelief and confusion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, and MC is asleep on my bed. They were the one that wanted all of us to eat together. So why don’t you be the one to go wake them? Bring my cape while you’re at it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t until he was crossing through the threshold of the door back into the hallway did he hear Mammon finally reanimate, shouting from his balcony before his footfalls could be heard flying down the stairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You bastard! If you did anything to my human I swear I’ll-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer shut the door just before Mammon could exit, listening to the sound of him slamming into it rattle through the hall. He glided towards the stairs with purpose, smiling as he heard the jiggling of the doorknob before Mammon’s boisterous voice was bouncing around the hallway again, fading as he ran the opposite direction, towards Lucifer’s bedroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They would likely have much to talk about, but for now, he had shown enough of his heart for one day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His bare hands scratched against the fabric inside his pockets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Ah, he was still missing his gloves.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Oh well, he could do without them for now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's the end! I've thought about writing a short epilogue but after re-reading this chapter, I really feel like other than Lucifer confessing the same things to everyone else as he did to the brothers, there's not much else to show. Maybe just Mammon being able to move forward with the newfound love and support of his family I could show, but besides that, I feel like I can send these characters off trusting that they will be able to handle themselves on their own now. I hope you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back after months with finally a real conclusion to this fic! I was satisfied with the ending of chapter 3, but I constantly had this one idea for an epilogue stirring at the back of my mind. Thank you for all the nice response on this story, even months later! I am worried this chapter may not hold up to the previous three as much, but I tried my best. I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The path to school was the same as always. Unchanging, for even the cracks that had splintered their way through the concrete sidewalks never appeared to grow any bigger, or if they did, they took so many years to ever noticeably crack that no one paid them any mind. Mammon didn’t, at least, but today he felt himself staring at them more than normal.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was nervous. After last night, things felt awkward, to say <em>the least</em>. Mammon already hated the fact that <em>he </em>was the reason everyone was acting unlike themselves. His brothers had vehemently assured him that they weren’t under some pact or spell to act nice to him, and that they genuinely wanted to make it up to him for all the hurt they had caused, but, it felt all too… perfect?  It was too nice of an ending for <em>him </em>of all people. For someone like MC, sure, they could pat themselves on the back for achieving the fairy tale ending of making everyone love another, but for someone like Mammon, he had to wonder if the problem was <em>truly </em>solved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Last night, Lucifer had everyone sit down to talk with Mammon. Still caught up in the moment of all the emotions whirling through the household, Mammon had broken down again, confessing all of what had hurt him about what his family had said over the years. He hadn’t realized how much had piled up until the dams burst and suddenly he was choking on his words as he ran out of saliva because all the water in his body was going towards his tears. The list wasn’t itemized, but it was <em>long, </em>he found himself bringing up tiny moments and conversations that he had stowed away for years, and it made him feel petty and evil.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No <em>normal </em>person would hold a grudge this long, no <em>normal </em>person would cling to such a tiny misdemeanor said in idle chatter and let it stick to them like a thorn stuck in their chest for years, but that’s exactly what Mammon had done. He had let these things pile up and kept them stored away for a moment like this. He had dreamed of it, thought of all the nasty things he would say when he finally got the ability to put his brothers in their place-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Except, he didn’t get to do that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead, all his words came out less like accusations, and more like pleas. He didn’t even realize it until Lucifer grabbed his hands away from his head that he was pulling on his own hair in his mania, he didn’t even realize that every memory he threw into the open was preceded by countless <em>I’m sorrys </em>and finished off with statements like <em>I know you only said it because it was my fault and it’s stupid of me to have been feeling this way so just forget it-</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>As he walked along the path, he cursed himself for being so weak and sensitive. In the moment, though he had soaked up his brothers’ warmth, <em>their </em>apologies and reassurances that it was nothing wrong with <em>him,</em> but merely oversights and failures on their part. Satan took responsibility for bruises that Mammon insisted had long since faded, <em>but you brought them up, so they still hurt you, </em>Levi, Belphegor, and Asmo apologized fervently for insults they had thrown his way for centuries- <em>it shouldn’t have gone on this long, Mammon, </em>they said. Beelzebub, who had been strong the whole night, crossed the room and wrapped Mammon up his arms, his low voice rumbling against his shoulder (where he had tucked his own tear stained face), and spoke the simple confession that he loved him, and would do better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What had been the real nail in the coffin, however, was Lucifer kneeling in front of the couch and holding Mammon’s hand, just looking up at him. He was not as broken as it had been hours before, but Mammon could see the wound was now forever etched into him, carved through the heart. MC’s conversation with Lucifer had touched upon the more suicidal fears of his brothers too, it seemed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And although Mammon agreed to <em>stop </em>those thoughts, to forgive and forget, and had waved goodnight to his family with the promise that <em>together, they would help restore what was broken, </em>Mammon couldn’t help but believe in the thought that he was the one who had drawn the sword, and stabbed that horror and guilt into Lucifer himself, leaving him forever broken and crippled by the pain he caused his family.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And now, as Mammon walked to school, the voices he had not felt since he had zoned out in Asmodeus’ bathtub came back. They were crawling over him, skittering about underneath his skin and telling him the awkwardness was all his fault and the extra nerves and intrusive thoughts this morning were <em>well deserved.</em> He just had to be a troublemaker and cause waves through his family, he couldn’t just take a joke and move on like any normal person.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>If you hadn’t said anything, they wouldn’t hate themselves.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s your fault for being so sensitive, you know they were only joking. Now they hate themselves.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>What would you do if they killed themselves because you overreacted to a joke? You’ve upset them so much, they feel worse than you do.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Mammon clutched his school bag tighter and ducked his head even more, surging forward across the cracked concrete. He hated this awkwardness, the walking on eggshells feeling, the way he had forced everyone to fake being themselves just to appease him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waking up was deafening, the shift in the house’s atmosphere pounding in his head in the absence of Lucifer pounding at his door. Mammon felt rested, but as if he had not slept at all. It was like he had been lying in bed and with the snap of someone’s fingers, the clocks all collectively changed to morning. His muscles were sore, and his body still ached from bruises that had failed to fully heal. He had been given permission to stay home, Lucifer and MC agreeing that he could take all the time he needed to heal, but he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he was alone while everyone else was at RAD sitting in class and left to swirl through their thoughts about how to not <em>hurt </em>him. Hell, Mammon didn’t know what to do with the idea of him being left alone in the House with the <em>voices </em>all day taunting him about what everyone else was thinking about him. So, he climbed out of bed and forced himself to suffer through a cold shower anyway, searching for some source of normalcy to calm his buzzing nerves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Breakfast was stifling. It made Mammon regret getting up, but more than that, it made him regret the events of the previous day even more. The cotton of his uniform shirt was itchy, his tie a little too tight. Some part of him, the one that cursed his half-done, sloppy appearance when it caught sight of it in the mirror, made him think that taking the time to button his uniform coat properly today would make him feel better. He took the extra time to slip each button through each hole, smooth out the woolen fabric, and buckle the belt just right. When he looked at himself again, he had to scoff. <em>He looked like Solomon</em>. Still, he descended the stairs like that, and all the eyes of the dining room shot to him the moment he walked through the doorway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon barely remembered what had been said, or if there had even been a conversation at the table at all. He could recall MC running up to him and reminding him that he could stay home if he wanted, but beyond that, everyone else at the table was blurry. Everyone was paused in their meal, just <em>staring </em>at him. Asmo had stopped looking at his phone, Satan and Levi put their book and game down respectively. Belphegor was awake and Beel’s plate was full but his eyes were focused on piercing through <em>Mammon. </em>Lucifer was holding a fork above his plate, but he had gone deathly still when he saw his brother enter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His face was once again mangled by the same brokenness it had been last night. Sickness welled up in Mammon’s throat again, nausea churning at the whispering reminders that <em>his actions </em>were still causing a ricochet of pain through his family.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MC had asked again if he was sure he was up to going to school today, speaking in a soft voice as they reached out to touch his cheek. Mammon ducked his head out of the way and mumbled out a <em>yes</em>, and then snagged some food from a plate and rushed out the door, ignoring the silence that rang behind him before the front door slammed closed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t want to cause waves, he wanted everything to be the same.  He hated the thought that his brothers would have to fake being themselves just to accommodate him, and although he knew it wasn’t true, he still struggled to accept the thought that MC <em>hadn’t </em>forced them to behave this way under the power of their pacts. He knew they wouldn’t, but the self-deprecating part of himself continued to entertain the nasty thought of this all being an illusion, a sick joke and just went he got too comfortable, they would pull the rug out from under him, laughing down at him even crueler than they had before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>They don’t actually love you, </em>the voice whispered in his ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon quickened his steps.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>He was halfway to school when he heard the first voice call out to him. From behind, they bellowed down the path, and Mammon tilted his head to glance back over his shoulder just in time to see Satan rushing towards him, a hand waving in the air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Shit, is he gonna punch me for the money I stole last week?! </em>Mammon panicked, but before he could get away, the younger brother caught up to him, and Mammon felt a hand <em>lightly </em>slap against his back as he passed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why didn’t you eat breakfast with us?” Satan asked as he slowed to a walk beside his brother. Mammon had slouched over in anticipation for a beating, but the gentle impact surprised him, and he took a minute to unfold himself back to his normal height.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, uh, well,” Mammon stuttered, scratching the back of his head, “I wasn’t that hungry this morning that’s all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon didn’t miss the way Satan frowned at that, but likewise, Satan didn’t miss the way Mammon’s empty eyes skimmed and skittered across the path in front of them as they walked, half lidded and nervous as he tried to keep his gaze trained on the ground and away from him. Sensing the discomfort, Satan gave him another pat on the back before increasing his stride to move out of step and in front of Mammon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, if you’re sure you’re okay, then… You know, MC was worried about you. You should text them and let them know you’re alright. I’ll be going on ahead. There’s something I wanted to see in the library before class starts.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And so, Satan walked on, his blonde hair disappearing down the path until he fused into the lines of other demons walking to school, and then he was gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Mammon was alone again. He could breathe again. He took a deep breath and as his shoulders sagged, he glanced up towards the sky.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At first he thought it was a bird, but then he realized it was a demon soaring overhead. A black spot against the purplish, blue twilight of the artificial sky, Mammon saw Lucifer’s grand figure flying towards RAD. He thought he saw MC in his arms, traveling by air with him. It made Mammon’s heart pang a little bit, seeing his brother carrying his human so tenderly, but the rational- and also the belittling- part of Mammon’s brain reasoned:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>They’re both behind on their duties for a day because of you. Lucifer has to catch up on missed paperwork, and MC has their exchange student tasks to complete. It’s obvious they would need to get to school early for that. Diavolo gave them the day off to help you, but they couldn’t fall further behind. That’s all.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Then, he saw another black spot in the sky, weaving in and out of the patterns of the stars as it seemed to get bigger and bigger. Mammon squinted up at it, and quickly panicked when he realized it was Asmodeus, and he was getting bigger because he was about to drop in front of him.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
“Asmo!” He yelped as the demon touched down on the ground right in front of him, quickly poofing out of his demon form and smoothing out his hair and uniform as the horns and wings retracted, “What the hell are you doing? You could’ve hit me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hm? Oh, sorry Mammon! I had to fly here because the moon is only going to be this bright for a few more minutes, and there’s a rose bush along this path that would look lovely for some Devilgram photos in front of it! Do you want to see?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon really didn’t, but his brother was practically bouncing with excitement, so he grit his teeth and managed out a “S-sure.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Asmo pursed his lips at the response, but said no more, merely brushing back his curled bangs and strutting forward down the sidewalk until they reached the dirt path that led straight to the school gate. Foliage of bushes and trees lined the path, and Mammon quickly saw the roses that Asmo was referring to. Glittering in the moonlight, the white petals stood out like moons of their own against the black leaves and thorns that wove around them. Asmo was giddy and bounced up and down when he approached and saw the beauty in person, and the next thing Mammon knew, Asmo’s D.D.D. was being thrust into his hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you take some photos for me fast? I don’t know how much longer they’ll look this good next to me!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Mammon could respond, Asmo was already posing, practically lying down on the patch of grass in front of the bush and tilting his head back. Mammon fumbled to open the camera on the phone and angle it just right. Asmo reminded him to put the flash on, and after each burst of light, he snapped to a new pose, narrowly avoiding the thorns as he all but pressed himself into the bush, his arms splayed out as he gave a seductive gaze to the camera with the roses swirling around and out from his form. The roses were slowly beginning to lose their luster as the moon passed behind some clouds, as Asmo had predicted, so Mammon began to hand the phone back to him, closing out of the camera and opening the gallery so Asmo could browse them fast.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not sure how they came out but-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hm, I’ll check later,” Asmo hummed as he opened the camera back up, grabbing Mammon and dragging him towards the bush, “Now it’s your turn!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“W-what?” Mammon sputtered out, falling to his knees as Asmo shoved him down to kneel in front of the bush.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We don’t have much longer before the flowers dim, and you went through the trouble to make your uniform look nice today! It would be a waste if we didn’t take a picture of you while you looked this handsome! Now, look to the side, tilt your chin up. You model don’t you? I want to get your profile. Your hair will look amazing next to these flowers.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon started to protest, but as Asmo began to snap photos at rapid-fire speed, he decided to suck it up and just shut his mouth. He personally didn’t think he looked photogenic at all today. His eyes were still red rimmed from crying last night, and beyond that, he had shitty dark circles from the past week of hell and little sleep. His skin was suffering, so Asmo’s blatant lies in an attempt to make him feel better only twisted the knife in more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still, he shut his eyes, and tilted his head back, listening to the shutter sound fade into the background as he breathed in the scent of the roses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Asmo’s finger paused on the button when his eyes skimmed over the side of the D.D.D. and saw Mammon beyond the picture frame and against the bush in the real light. He almost gasped, but swallowed his shock, and instead focused back on aligning him on the camera. He snapped one more picture, making sure this one was perfect. He waited a moment after tucking the phone away before he walked over, and gently rested a hand on Mammon’s shoulder, snapping him back to life as his eyes shot open.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, are you done?” Mammon stuttered. Asmo smiled down at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yup! I’ll send you the best ones later. Thanks for taking the ones of me though, later!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Asmo skipped off before Mammon could stand back up and onto the path. He smiled as he thought of the serenity he had seen on his brother’s face, so uncharacteristic but not at all unwelcome, and vowed to find a way to bring it out more often.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Mammon was getting up from the dirt, he nearly walked into Levi, who had his nose shoved in his game system and headphones blaring anime music so loud he must be losing his hearing. The third brother’s hands stuttered on the controls as he tried to step around Mammon, the latter of which watched as the words “GAME OVER” illuminated the system’s screen, and he prepared himself for at least a tongue lashing as Levi tugged off his headphones and turned to say something.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey- Oh! Mammon! Sorry about that, I didn’t see you,” Levi’s expression quickly morphed from rage to surprise when he realized who he was talking to, “Wait, what were you doing on the ground?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Asmo appeared and asked me to take some pictures of him,” Mammon explained. When he saw Levi’s confused expression still, he clarified, “He, uh, took a photo of me at the end. Kind of forced me to the ground for it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi nodded at that, but his eyes skated along Mammon’s knees, where the wet ground had started to stain his uniform pants. He pulled out a small package of pocket tissues and began to dab at the dirt with them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Woah, what are you doing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You got mud on yourself. I keep these and some wipes on me because if I decide to jump into a lake on my way home, Lucifer scolds me if I drag mud into the house. It’s only a little bit, now, look! It’s gone.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi was still holding the dirty tissue as he smiled down at his handiwork. Mammon reached out to take it, “Here you don’t have to-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, it’s no big deal,” he said, wrapping it in another tissue and shoving it in his pocket, “I’ll throw it out when I get to school.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon pulled his hand back, he felt like protesting still, <em>there was no reason for Levi to get his pocket dirty when he could just hold it, </em>but decided to let it drop. He didn’t want to make the other angry by causing a fuss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi’s orange eyes watched over Mammon as he recoiled and eventually slouched, taking in each moment and cataloging it for later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you doing anything after school?” Levi asked, and noted how Mammon flinched at that too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was wondering if you wanted to go downtown with me. I wanted to go to the arcade and try out a new game they had. You have pretty good luck with the prizes, so maybe we could win a lot of tokens together.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, maybe,” Mammon mumbled. The thrall of winning coins of any value made his greed flare up. Levi smiled when he saw the twinkle appear in Mammon’s eyes again, but it quickly extinguished as he twisted his foot nervously against the dirt, “I might just go home after class though… I’m still feeling kind of tired.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi frowned, “You should’ve stayed home today. You know you still can go back and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I’m fine. I’m absolutely fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon insisted, and as much as Levi wanted to press the issue, he decided to let it pass. The confidence he got when he was overcome with emotion was gone, and in its place was the usual, socially awkward, borderline NEET that had taken shape ever since the end of the Celestial War. Like he had seen his two other brothers do already, he gave Mammon a gentle touch before waving goodbye and moving on his way towards RAD.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“See you later then,” he said, pulling his headphones back over his ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tomorrow, he would just have to <em>accidentally </em>walk into Mammon again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon watched Levi disappear down the path, his body fading into the crowd as the moonlight beamed through the leaves and cast flecks of light over the students that walked underneath its cover. He waited until he was sure he was alone to begin his walk again, not wanting to be left to his thoughts, but feeling more comfortable with them and their <em>what-ifs </em>then actual confrontation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He only managed another minute of steps before there was a loud crash from deep into the woods beside the path, and Mammon jumped a foot in the air as a large figure suddenly emerged from out of a pile of leaves and fallen sticks, orange hair tufted up in different directions as his insect-wings spasmed and he lugged the weight of another grumbling demon underneath his arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Beel? Belphie?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, hey, Mammon,” Beelzebub said as he stepped over the fallen log of the tree he had just struck when he landed, “Can you take Belphie for a second? I think I dropped my bag somewhere back there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh, sure?” Mammon held out his arms as the limp body was passed from Beel to him. Once Beel’s hands slipped away, Mammon fell forward, nearly dropping Belphie flat on his face from the sudden jolt of weight. He wasn’t as strong as Beel, and his muscles were not in top form right now anyway. After the <em>lurch, </em>Belphie batted Mammon away as he stood up on his own, brushing himself off with a groan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh. Geez. Beel, you need to be more careful when you’re flying. I’m pretty sure some branches scratched me,” He stumbled around like a drunkard, trying to find strength to level his weight on one foot before he spun around and flopped onto the ground in a heap. The tiredness vanished from his eyes when he looked up and realized Mammon was standing there, “Mammon? Where’s Beel?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Back where you guys crashed. Um, why were you hitching a ride with Beel?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was too tired to walk to school, duh,” Belphie said, scratching his hair frustratedly as he yawned, “You really are stupid-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As he yawned, Belphie’s voice warbled and warped into a familiar insult, but as his brain caught up with what he was saying, his eyes widened and he clammed his mouth shut, staring up at his brother in shock. Mammon was just staring back at him, watching as Belphie’s whole body flared up as a static buzz went through him straight to his face which burned red in embarrassment as he quickly fought to cover up what he said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t mean-! I’m sorry, it was a reflex. I know we talked about-” He sighed, “I’ll do better, I promise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon was still staring, but his lips pulled back into a nervous smile, and he had to resist the urge to laugh, “No it’s… It’s okay, really. I get it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t the satisfaction of knowing his brothers still thought of him as an idiot that made him laugh, but the relief and joy at the realization that <em>if Belphie made a mistake like that, then they weren’t under a pact. There’s no spell that they’re under, nothing forcing them to pretend. They still think of me as an idiot, but they’re trying. <strong>Belphie’s trying, </strong></em>he grinned.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>But they still think you’re an idiot, </em>the voices over his shoulder hissed, <em>they still think you’re worthless, a waste of space- They just know not to say it now because they don’t want you guilting them about it later. They still-</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“Do you want a lift to school too, Mammon?” Beel asked as he strolled out of the shrubs, holding two messenger bags that had fallen off them while flying. Belphie started to get up, his lethargy returning to him as he clung to Beel’s side, and tucked himself under his twin’s arm again so he could be carried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon shook himself out of his daze, and smiled again, “No, no, it’s fine. I have wings too, so I can fly by myself if I want. Why are you all coming here so early, though?” He asked, “You’re the fourth and fifth people I’ve seen fly overhead so far.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The twins exchanged a strange look, and then Belphegor spoke, “We can’t speak for the others, but Beel heard there was a new food item being introduced in the cafeteria today. He was going to try and sneak some before class, and I just didn’t want to walk so I tagged along.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, that makes sense,” Mammon nodded, “Well then, if you guys are gonna take off again, I guess I’ll be seeing you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He gave a small wave and started to walk down the path again. The school gates weren’t more than five minutes away, just around the bend and up the hill. He could see the reasoning behind Asmo coming early for those photos, and Lucifer likely had council work, but that didn’t explain Levi, and Belphegor would usually stay home if everyone else left without him. Satan had all the books he needed in his personal library, and had exhausted the school’s supply years ago, so what could he actually be doing?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>They wanted to get to school before they ran into you, </em>the voices said, <em>but then you screwed it up and made things awkward.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Mammon frowned and trudged on, working his way around the bend and beginning to climb the slope to the gates when suddenly-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mammon, hold on, wait, I’ll walk with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was Belphie, <em>running </em>to catch up with him. He was practically falling over with how his legs were slipping out from under him as he heaved himself up the hill. Another black shadow darted over in the sky. Mammon glanced up to see Beelzebub flying low, but soaring away without his brother. Mammon reached out to stabilize Belphie, holding onto him as he caught his breath before he straightened up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you doing? You don’t have to walk with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” he breathed out, gritting his teeth, and that was when Mammon saw the red rings beneath his eyes, “I do.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Mammon’s hands fell away and he stepped back, “Belphegor you don’t-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, don’t give me that. I’m walking with you. I have nowhere else to be, so I’ll do it. Come on, let’s just get to the gates already.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Belphie.</em> I swear I’m fine, you don’t have to-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Belphegor had already taken the first step forward, and was trudging on strongly up the hill. His knees were shaking, and he already seemed ready to fall over and pass out. Mammon didn’t have it in him to leave him be. Belphie looked over his shoulder and snarled at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you coming or not?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon fixed the back of his shoe and then jogged up after him, slowing to a leisurely pace once he was beside him, “Yeah, yeah. Hold on.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The entire way up the hill, Mammon kept glancing at Belphie, keeping an eye trained on him as his hands twitched at his sides, noticing every little stumble and misstep. When they were almost at the top, Belphegor finally spoke again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, I didn’t get to say it yesterday, but you’re a good older brother, Mammon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon’s hand froze midair, lingering above Belphie’s shoulder where it had been about to touch down to stabilize him, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You heard me. Sure, you’re a bit scummy sometimes, with how you steal from all of us, but deep down, you’re the most caring one out of all of us. I don’t want to sugarcoat things, because I can tell that’s bothering you. The others will tread more lightly to try and not hurt you, but I’ll just be straight with you. I’ll try my best to hold back a bit, but I can’t promise I’ll remember to be nice all the time. But,  I promise I’ll work on it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon opened his mouth, but quickly closed it when only a meaningless noise stuttered out. He took a second to just watch Belphie, who was still staring down the top of the hill as he forced himself up it, and Mammon looked away as he managed out a whispered:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah. That sounds okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stepped over the crest of the hill, and Belphegor smiled, “Oh hey, look, everyone’s waiting for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon went to ask him what he meant, <em>what do you mean <strong>me, </strong>don’t you mean <strong>us</strong>, </em>but Belphegor was moving forward, stepping out of line with Mammon and striding forward towards the gates. Mammon’s eyes followed his figure as it moved away, and eventually he saw it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>He saw them.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Everyone was standing at the gates. Beelzebub, Levi, Asmodeus, Satan, Lucifer, MC, and now Belphegor as he joined the line. They all were smiling at Mammon, MC and Lucifer side by side as MC held a large bouquet of yellow and blue flowers. As Mammon stopped at the top of the hill, MC walked out of the group and handed him the bouquet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s.... What’s this for?” Mammon said, taking the flowers delicately in his arms, and cradling them as he eyed them over. There were yellow lilies mixed with blue thistles, and some pale orange gladiolus peaked out from behind the large flowers. MC folded their arms behind their back and flashed him a wide smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“To thank you of course!” They said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“T-thank me? For what?” Mammon asked in disbelief, and then he felt a hand settle on his shoulder, and suddenly Lucifer was there, towering over him. His expression was gentle though, and it made Mammon anxious in anticipation. He tightened his grip on the flowers, the plastic wrapper crinkling under his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For being born,” Lucifer stated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon just gaped at him. Lucifer continued.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are a constant joy in our lives. I want you to know that my life would be terrible without you. Thank you,” he stressed with a squeeze of his hand before he pulled him in for a short hug, “for being alive. I love you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mammon broke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The voices evaporated from his heart, disintegrating as their weight escaped from his chest and dashed to the wind. Mammon crumpled as tears poured from his eyes, and Lucifer stepped back, but kept Mammon grounded with his hand on him. His brothers rushed forward to surround him, all of them smiling even as Mammon sobbed over the flowers, curling in on himself. Over his sobbing, he could just barely hear the words they were saying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Geez, such a crybaby!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I guess that’s what we deserve for not saying it enough.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll say it everyday if it will help you feel better, Mammon!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We all love you, like Lucifer said. You’re a part of our family.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The most important part.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re sorry if we made you think you were anything less.”</p>
<p><br/>
“We’ll do better. We’ll all do better. We promise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was all too much, and with each new hand running over his hair and his face to catch his tears, Mammon found his sobs turning more and more into laughter, his sorrow into a smile as he wiped his eyes and melted into the hands of his family.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>After reading so many people's comments on this fic, I continued to have this desire to write more for it. My goal in writing this epilogue was to write something with a similar feeling to the ending of the film, "A Silent Voice". Unfortunately I could not convey all my ideas in the same way, due to the stories having different circumstances, but I hope I managed to capture the feeling somewhat. Listening to "lit (variation)" while writing for three nights straight did give me enough power to get through this chapter. You may also notice this fic now has a series tag on it. I had a dream that inspired another fic like this that I hope to write. It's not a continuation, just more of a story similar in the same vein. I hope when I do write that, many of you will like it too.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I would like to apologize to Mammon for the fact that he was hurt in the production of this fic.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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